homesoon.
i̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶n̶i̶c̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶b̶a̶c̶k̶.̶
- Apr 15, 2024
- 95
I have felt for a long time that I know how I'm going to die. More specifically, I have a gut feeling I will die by my own hand, whether purposefully or not, but probably more purposefully. I already have a way and a plan, just haven't brought myself to actually do it yet; ("active suicidal intrusive thoughts and planning without intent," apparently) even though I had the most calm thought just yesterday that I'm going to do it. I can picture it working and worst case scenario of it does not work. At this point, I think the only relief I truly get is knowing I have made the option available to myself, it's just getting past worrying about everything/everyone that came before and will come after.
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