Venting feeling hopeless today

[CleverMoniker]

Some days, I wake up, and absolutely nothing works. Some days, I wake up, and I feel like the marrow of my bones has been replaced with something heavier. Some days, I wake up without any memory of all the reasons I have to keep going. This has been one of those days.

Try as I might, I always seem to fall back into despair. I've spent years trying to get better. I've tried therapy, which didn't change anything. I take my meds, they don't work. I exercise. I journal. I have a wonderful social circle, and I'm in love with the most amazing person. But it isn't enough. Nothing is enough. I hate myself for feeling this way. I have a nice life, no reason for my misery.

I try so hard to find meaning in my life, but it evaporates under the slightest duress. There is this overwhelming sense of futility and purposelessness in my life, despite all that is good in it. It seems that every time I take a step forward, I am dragged back two. And I can't help but wonder how long it will be until I am dragged back into the nonexistence that I emerged from.

 

[healthrecovery]

Go on a vacation to india..spiritual trip visit some temples and stuff
You can have everything in life but if your life doesn't have any meaning you might as well kill yourself..

Some people are absolutely fanatical about gardening and its their life..those are among the happiest people i've seen
Professional martial artists are also very industrious and happy people

You have to get insane passion for something and identify with it...maybe travel around and see if something connects with you

 

[FuneralCry]

The way I see it, life is meaningless. There is no purpose to us being here, we only exist because of evolution. We only exist just to die, everything is just a distraction from death. I am very tired of being alive, all I want is to not exist. I see consciousness as being torture. I understand it is a hopeless feeling when you end up just feeling worse. I wish you the best.

 

[Lost Magic]

You ever tried Red Borneo Kratom tea. I find that it relaxes the mind and body. Look into that and meditation. You sound like you still have things to try before throwing in the towel.