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mold

mold

local fungi
Jun 25, 2019
172
like the title says, i live a normal, decent life. to others around me i'm probably super lucky, i live with a supportive parent in a nice city and no financial worries whatsoever thanks to my family. i have a loving long time partner and nice friends who care about me, a few "talents" and some interests. i can afford my medical bills and can get decent mental help (even though i don't really feel like it helps). despite all this i'm still unhappy, i still want to ctb, and have no motivation to do anything. it makes me feel guilty knowing there are people out there who aren't as privileged as i am and are suffering so much while i'm sitting on my ass comfortably but still wanting to ctb. i know mental health shouldn't be compared, and it isn't a competition yet somehow i still feel guilty. there are people out there who would kill to live my life but i'm too ungrateful i guess.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
15,516
Think that can be said for many of us. There are always going to be people worse off and some who are better off. I think it's kind to think about the people who have worse afflictions but I don't personally feel you can make yourself feel grateful for your lot- especially if you are depressed. Guilt becomes just another rod to beat yourself with. I do know how you feel- I do sometimes feel it too but like you said- it's not a contest. We can't always fight what we feel- especially when we feel it most or all of the time.
 
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Astral Storm

Astral Storm

Existence hurts too much
Aug 10, 2022
74
I can relate. My life is quite good and in a way I am glad. Others have it much more worse than me but I just want to disappear from here. For me, life is never worth it. I would gladly let someone switch with me but I just want to sleep forever. Either way, I think what you are feeling is totally fine and valid. Suicide should be available for those who want to, no matter the circumstances.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,572
You shouldn't feel guilty as after all none of us asked for this life in the first place and we have no obligations to live, it is a personal decision when to leave. Just because others have it worse doesn't mean that you are not allowed to feel the way that you feel. I wish you the best.
 
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Reactions: mold

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