Venting Feeling empty but still hurting

[Heartaches]

This week's almost over and I've felt progressively worse over time. I've been dealing with strong feelings of dissociation and depersonalization for a long time now, but this weeks's just been so tough, I can barely feel anything, I've lost passion for almost all the things that made me feel sometimes, I've been feeling dizzy, disoriented, my vision has become blurier, my head and my back have been hurting, my sleep's been all over the place, my room's a mess, I haven't made my bed in a week, I've been skinpping school and I can barely take care of myself.

My mom has suggested going with a new psychiatrist, but I don't feel confident in psychiatrists, they always medicate me on SSRIs even though I don't feel they're that useful, but my pychiatrists keep insisting, I feel they underestimate how bad my depression can become and think that by just taking them a couple of months it'll do, but that's far from the truth. For a long time I've been feeling that my diagnosis is incorrect or I have another mental condition, but I feel so scared of asking for a psychiatric evaluation because I've not been taken seriously by my doctors in the past.

All of this just feels like absolute hell. Everyone seems to wonder what happened to me and I just can't explain them, I feel they won't take me seriously or be completely insensitive. I feel like a total failure in life and I don't know if I'll every escape from this deep, deep hole.

I want to scream, but no one listens.​

 

[gallows_crow]

I relate to this a lot. It's actually nice to hear someone with similar issues. This may sound strange, but i'd recommend seeing an ENT and a neurologist. I have a condition in my ear that is known to cause dpdr, disorientation, and the like. I also have what is likely to be pressure in my skull that can cause many of the same symptoms, especially vision problems and head pain. If at all possible, I think going to a couple good doctors and getting their opinion could really help you. Wishing you the best of luck!

 

[its-about-time]

Seeing the new psychiatrist might be a good idea, because they will want to make their own judgment on what your "condition" is. They will see your historical diagnosis, but they will want to confirm it, and that's a good opportunity for you to explain everything you're dealing with to fresh ears. I hope you find a way to feel better, psych meds can suck. There are many different things to try— lots of different meds, and many non-medication options.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds really awful what you are going through and I'm sorry that you are suffering. I know that it is so dreadful when things just get worse. One of the most horrible things about life is that our bodies are capable of torturing us with health problems, it is all so depressing. I wish you the best in whatever happens, I hope you find relief from your pain.