Fear and uncertain

[toseeyousmile]

I'm doing the 48 hour fast for SN right now and honestly feel scared and uncertain about ctbing. On one hand, ctbing seem real scary and tbh I really do kinda want to live, but on the other hand, the dread I feel if I were to not ctb is just as scary, if not scarier as well, what do you guys make of this?

 

[booray]

Sounds like you're not sure that you really want to ctb to me.

 

[summers]

@toseeyousmile it doesn't sound like you are at peace with your decision. Maybe take a few days to reevaluate your situation, time line, and ctb plan. The sn isn't going anywhere. Wishing you all the best with your choice. pm or dm me if you ever want to talk.

 

[peacetoall]

Like others have said please hold off and reevaluate. Death is final, no turning back. No reason to rush. Maybe journal your fears of existence/the future and they may not look so scary after all. Life is hard, but we may not get another, so you need to be 100% certain you don't want it.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I like the suggestion that peacetoall made, to write down everything that scares you about living and everything that scares you about going through with CingTB, considering how important it is to be certain before going through with suicide. I understand what you mean about feeling uncertain and afraid, since both options can be terrifying when you don't know what the future holds.