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Saki

Experienced
Mar 22, 2021
201
Personally I have tried multiple times to go against the odds against life. I just can't anymore I am tired. I am a academic failure. My grades never have been so bad (well they haven't been the best either). It thought this was the only thing in life I could get right, but not even that. I learned so hard. Hours. Days. Weeks. Months all wasted. I actually sat my ass down and learned. Nothing. Nothing. Not even the bare minimum. Why even bother trying anymore?
Not only that, I am a failure of every aspect in my life. No stable relationships. No goals. Nobody. I was never close to anyone very much. I don't know why. I tried. I did. For example I actually tired to do the first steps. Inviting people over. Putting myself out there to complete strangers. It was all to waste. I still feel empty and hollow inside. Fuck I couldn't even do suicide proper. My overdosing attempt failed and I creamed like a coward to the doctor. Trying to dehydrate myself didn't last long only 2 days and I gave in. I just want to find peace, but it's so hard to obtain
 
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Some1's_Wasted_Fetus

Student
Mar 20, 2021
174
Holy shit. Are you me? You remind me so much of myself. I'm sorry you're having to go through all of this. I feel for you. I used to be a very hard-working student. Spent my weekends in my dorm studying all day instead of going out or partying. I used to find meaning and purpose in life, etc. Then overtime I just got so bored of it all. I started to realize that I've wasted 4 years of my life studying for hours when it'll amount to nothing. I have no job prospects after school, no interest in working, and no passion or drive to do anything. I've been rejected so many times I can't even count it and don't even bother to put myself out there anymore. I'm sorry your attempt failed :( have you looked into other readily available alternatives?
 
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Saki

Experienced
Mar 22, 2021
201
I sadly don't have any access to reliable methods :(
Holy shit. Are you me? You remind me so much of myself. I'm sorry you're having to go through all of this. I feel for you. I used to be a very hard-working student. Spent my weekends in my dorm studying all day instead of going out or partying. I used to find meaning and purpose in life, etc. Then overtime I just got so bored of it all. I started to realize that I've wasted 4 years of my life studying for hours when it'll amount to nothing. I have no job prospects after school, no interest in working, and no passion or drive to do anything. I've been rejected so many times I can't even count it and don't even bother to put myself out there anymore. I'm sorry your attempt failed :( have you looked into
 
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WornOutLife

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,183
May I ask how old you are?
I practically wasted my time until I was 25 and then my life became kinda decent. (Although my +30s were hell and now that I'm 33 things seem to be improving).

We all can be either a failure or a success. For instance, I had terrible grades at school and thought I was really dumb but once I started attended English courses and college I realize I was actually a bit smart.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I know whan an agony life can be. However, there's always some small hope which might change everything.

Wish you the best!!
 
S

Saki

Experienced
Mar 22, 2021
201
May I ask how old you are?
I practically wasted my time until I was 25 and then my life became kinda decent. (Although my +30s were hell and now that I'm 33 things seem to be improving).

We all can be either a failure or a success. For instance, I had terrible grades at school and thought I was really dumb but once I started attended English courses and college I realize I was actually a bit smart.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I know whan an agony life can be. However, there's always some small hope which might change everything.

Wish you the best!!
Well let's say I am between 18-25, but I'm still in edcuation aiming for a higher certificat. I already got my one degree, but with that level of education its hard to get a job or a decent live. It's kinda hard looking forward to anything If I have been hopeless most of my life :(
 
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