Facebook stalked old school peers - shouldn't have.

[BeautifulMosaics]

I'm only starting to realise how there is something wrong with me that the NHS/society has ignored or is unaware of or not advanced enough to help with, and the less I blame myself. How my peers managed to maintain those school relationships, with their massive social circles effortlessly, while girls I thought were my BFFs who I still have dreams about just trailed off in contact. How they effortlessly went to uni and stepped into adulthood with ease. I'm pretty sure now I'm on the autistic spectrum or something similar. Some sort of disorder. Something's wrong with me but I don't blame myself anymore - I see myself as a sick person. I always knew I had depression, but it's much deeper than that.

I also feel nostalgia, because that's the last time I was happy and social (to my extent). Looking back, and when I look at my peers, the nostalgia almost makes me remember the real me before stuff got bad. I feel like I've been in a trance missing years of my life and looking back at my peers and remembering the school years makes me feel like I can just pick up where I left off - the last time I was happy and functioning and truly alive. Now I don't pine for the past, per say, it's just interesting that those feelings came up because honestly I was much worse when it came to pining for what I've missed in the past and thought I'd gotten over it but I suppose if you're not happy, not functioning and slightly suicidal, the past where you were happier will always look ideal.

Me drinking also isn't helping I'm sure. I'm sitting here alone, 24 years old on a Saturday night, hearing other people having a party, wishing I was socialising too. I guess that's a sign I'm better because before I was just as I said "in a trance" and I had no such desires. Still, now I just feel depleted and done with life. Just tired, even if I do have those desires. I'm sure someone understands.

 

[ihatemyselfsomuch]

I feel similar right now. I'm watching and hearing other people socialise and sort of wanting to join, but I know that I can't. I'm unable to because of how I am.
I wouldn't compare yourself to people from high school just by looking at their facebook though. I recently caught up with someone I went to high school with, and he told me a lot of stuff that's recently went on with my former classmates. All of which isn't on their facebook. It's people's idealised projections of themselves, try not to buy into it.

 

[brutalus]

i am like this as well, but i dont feel bad about it. back when i used to go to parties it always angered me how people acted differently, everyone turned into fake fucks. the topics of conversations dumbed down. stupid ego and pride discussions where the winner was determined by the approval of the crowd. also the wamen were very attractive, and i never learnt to dance :(

about facebook, its the same fake fucks posting only the good parts of their lives. its like one big internet party.

drugs and alcohol are so much better alone, dont waste hi time with people is what i think.

 

[Deleted member 8579]

How they effortlessly went to uni and stepped into adulthood with ease. I'm pretty sure now I'm on the autistic spectrum or something similar. Some sort of disorder.

Oh dear, if this doesn't sound familiar. I'm probably socially retarded.

 

[motel rooms]

"Facebook stalked old school peers"​

Self-harm...

 

[Makko]

I don't even remember any of my school "peers" names. They were less my peers and more part of the scenery.

 

[FuneralCry]

Of course social media does not accurately reflect what the reality is like. I choose to stay away from it at all times. I think nostalgia can be escapism from our suffering, to think about the past where times were better. Memories are painful for me personally though.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I feel this strongly too. Most of my peers are pretty high up there now (I went to a good school). I don't understand how it's even possible to keep a friend let alone manage a gigantic circle of people, all with their own wants, needs and so on. The world in general just baffles and overwhelms me completely.