Story Experimental Therapeutic Services

[bluupup]

I'm so confused. I am in an ETS program and my main behavior I'm trying to change is SH. its not very big of a thing to me, but my mom and everyone else says I need help. I only cut to shallow fat / baby beans. I was talking to the ETS guy about what I do instead of cutting and he said that's also concerning and he'd never even HEARD of someone doing that... I feel weird. am I a bad person? I watch gore instead of cutting. Now I'm scared that I've done something horribly wrong.

 

[Canto XIII]

Premise: I'm no professional so don't trust what I'm about to say.

While I kind of agree watching gore is concerning as well, stating he's never heard of it sounds naive and potentially unprofessional (but then again, who am I to say). I don't think you're a bad person for that, nor that you have done something "horribly wrong" or unforgivable. Even within a moral paradigm, you only watched recordings of people do something, no matter how disturbing.

I would advise you to find another substitutory technique however. If nothing else, I can't imagine watching gore (or cutting for that matter) being good for your mental health.

 

[bluupup]

Premise: I'm no professional so don't trust what I'm about to say.

While I kind of agree watching gore is concerning as well, stating he's never heard of it sounds naive and potentially unprofessional (but then again, who am I to say). I don't think you're a bad person for that, nor that you have done something "horribly wrong" or unforgivable. Even within a moral paradigm, you only watched recordings of people do something, no matter how disturbing.

I would advise you to find another substitutory technique however. If nothing else, I can't imagine watching gore (or cutting for that matter) being good for your mental health.

thanks for the input, he's been in the therapist field for about 12 years? he's usually an art teacher at juvenile halls and such as a side job. I know cutting and gore aren't good for my mental health, but its all I can find that works currently besides fighting people irl or doing opioids.. and I really don't wanna go back to doping out in class and fighting anyone who looks at me. it was horrible..

 

[bagel12]

I'm so confused. I am in an ETS program and my main behavior I'm trying to change is SH. its not very big of a thing to me, but my mom and everyone else says I need help. I only cut to shallow fat / baby beans. I was talking to the ETS guy about what I do instead of cutting and he said that's also concerning and he'd never even HEARD of someone doing that... I feel weird. am I a bad person? I watch gore instead of cutting. Now I'm scared that I've done something horribly wrong.

it doesn't make you a bad person. gore replicates the visual and emotional stimuli of sh, so it makes sense that it would be an alternative to sh. and gore sites get a ton of visitors, you're not the only one.

in the long run it would be better to have a few other replacement behaviors to try when you want to sh, not just watching gore. watching gore a lot can desensitize people and then they require worse and worse gore to receive the same cathartic emotional effect. having a few other options aside from watching gore can help prevent that.

im sorry that the ets guy reacted that way. instead of judging you, he should have tried to better understand why watching gore helps you when you want to sh. and then he should have helped you come up with other alternatives to try. there is some stigma around gore which may be why he reacted that way, but he should have been understanding instead of judgmental

it sounds like your mind and body require extreme stimuli to feel stable. have you looked into the criteria for autsim, aspd, and bpd? i know a couple people who dealt with similar stuff and i think thats what they were diagnosed with

 

[bluupup]

it doesn't make you a bad person. gore replicates the visual and emotional stimuli of sh, so it makes sense that it would be an alternative to sh. and gore sites get a ton of visitors, you're not the only one.

in the long run it would be better to have a few other replacement behaviors to try when you want to sh, not just watching gore. watching gore a lot can desensitize people and then they require worse and worse gore to receive the same cathartic emotional effect. having a few other options aside from watching gore can help prevent that.

im sorry that the ets guy reacted that way. instead of judging you, he should have tried to better understand why watching gore helps you when you want to sh. and then he should have helped you come up with other alternatives to try. there is some stigma around gore which may be why he reacted that way, but he should have been understanding instead of judgmental

it sounds like your mind and body require extreme stimuli to feel stable. have you looked into the criteria for autsim, aspd, and bpd? i know a couple people who dealt with similar stuff and i think thats what they were diagnosed with

I was evaluated for autism and I don't have it, but my psychiatrist does say I have almost all BPD traits.