Venting Existential doubts of a dumb girl

[Hanniewants2die]

Hello, it's been a week since I posted my last post, I've been thinking and... Taking a bit of advice from someone who commented earlier, you know, about looking for another way out.

The thing is, I do have other options, but I'm stubborn and taking those opportunities would mean living a life I don't want. I would have to dedicate myself to something I don't want for the rest of my life and ultimately, my mother traumatized me so much with studying that now I hate it and I can't stand the idea of studying two degrees, and not only that, but prioritizing the shitty career I hate over the one I actually wanted to pursue.

Add to that the constant pressure from my family to "pursue a real career", constantly belittling my opinions, I try to go to therapy, but what the psychologist tells me is to set limits, how do I set limits if no one listens to me no matter how much I complain or raise my voice? I know it's cowardly to want to run away from something that is an obligation in life, but isn't that the whole reason for wanting to die anyway? Honestly, I'd rather die young than live an uncertain future that I know I'll hate. Everyone wants me to settle, but... If I'm going to live a horrible life, why not just get ahead of it? And I really need someone to tell me I'm right.
Others expect me to be understanding of their expectations, but have they been understanding of mine? My life is supposed to be my own, and I should have the freedom to at least choose what I want to do.
There's nothing in the world I really want at all, nothing excites me or makes me happy, I just want to leave all these contradictions behind and with them all my frustrations and sadness.
I want to feel like I'm not being irrational for thinking this way, I just need to know what a third person thinks about this, if you can tell me, I'd appreciate it.

 

[bankai]

Why not just try instead to do what you like? Forget about what your parents are forcing you to do. I know that's easier said than done. I won't be a hypocrite. If you're not happy doing what you like, you can always take the bus later. But don't get on the bus since your parents are giving you grief. All parents do this. It's their lot in life.

 

[Hanniewants2die]

Why not just try instead to do what you like? Forget about what your parents are forcing you to do. I know that's easier said than done. I won't be a hypocrite. If you're not happy doing what you like, you can always take the bus later. But don't get on the bus since your parents are giving you grief. All parents do this. It's their lot in life.

Believe me, I've tried to convince my mother, but others always appear and make her more firm in her decision to make me pursue that shitty career. The problem is that I want to study animation, but it is too expensive and as an unemployed teenager, I depend on my mom to pursue a career at all. :')
Anyway, your comment made me smile, thanks for that. :D