everyone around me has a partner or is finding one and it makes me miserable.

[Kokonoe]

title. i'm quickly becoming the only person who's alone and it makes me feel so worthless and miserable.

my oldest sister already has her life partner and has barely had time for me ever since. and within the last couple weeks she finally established a lot of boundaries with me so i'm even further away from her than i was already. every time i remember it i feel extremely hurt.

my older sister recently started seeing a girl and now she doesn't really make any time for me, either. she lives an hour away but would come down to where i live and stay the weekend most weeks and i never really started getting to know my sister until the end of last year so getting to spend time with her every here and there was one of the few nice things i had. but now if she makes the trip out it's just to see this girl and/or her other friends and i don't get to see her at all, she hasn't even tried to talk to me or make any plans with me since. it's just sorta sad, even if i am happy for her. i know she was really lonely, too, and was worried about being alone long term just like i was and so i'm happy she doesn't have to worry about that anymore.

outside of my family, i don't really have many friends. but the few i do also have gotten into relationships recently, and it's still much the same. the few people i had to spend time with now don't really have much time for me because they have partners now, and i can't relate to them like i did before because of it. i'm slowly becoming more isolated and alone as everyone around me finds their people.

i feel completely worthless, undesirable, and unlovable. i've accepted i'm going to die alone but it still hurts. and in my situation it is genuinely impossible for me to ever find a partner. at my age everyone already has their social circles and partners, if you don't already have those things you're fucked forever. it's impossible to even meet new people, and believe me i have tried. i have tried everything i can and i am still alone, even in just a platonic sense i haven't even been able to meet new people to just talk to or be friends with or see every now and then or anything. i'm still so alone. and since i'm a gay tgirl it only gets even harder to find anyone on top of everything else. i feel so disgusting all the time anymore and i can't take it. i feel subhuman.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Same, the closest i got is someone who wanted me around as kinda just a pet to kick in the ribs whenever she felt down.

 

[bhaloo]

don't fret so much. sometimes partner ship is just a compromise, an arrangement, you can enter into a relationship just out of convenience. Some people are not meant to find love and even if they find a relationship they still won't find love. It's just impossible if you are old, ugly, stupid, undesirable, no personality, no money, no hair, no good voice. You'll be as miserable in a relationship as without it.

 

[Kokonoe]

Same, the closest i got is someone who wanted me around as kinda just a pet to kick in the ribs whenever she felt down.

honestly that's kinda how my oldest sister treated me. and literally, too.

don't fret so much. sometimes partner ship is just a compromise, an arrangement, you can enter into a relationship just out of convenience. Some people are not meant to find love and even if they find a relationship they still won't find love. It's just impossible if you are old, ugly, stupid, undesirable, no personality, no money, no hair, no good voice. You'll be as miserable in a relationship as without it.

oh i know a relationship won't make me happy. it's far from enough to save me at this point. i don't think it ever would've. i know i was never meant to find love or be loved. but it still hurts to feel like the only one who can't have it.

 

[bunnygirl4]

title. i'm quickly becoming the only person who's alone and it makes me feel so worthless and miserable.

my oldest sister already has her life partner and has barely had time for me ever since. and within the last couple weeks she finally established a lot of boundaries with me so i'm even further away from her than i was already. every time i remember it i feel extremely hurt.

my older sister recently started seeing a girl and now she doesn't really make any time for me, either. she lives an hour away but would come down to where i live and stay the weekend most weeks and i never really started getting to know my sister until the end of last year so getting to spend time with her every here and there was one of the few nice things i had. but now if she makes the trip out it's just to see this girl and/or her other friends and i don't get to see her at all, she hasn't even tried to talk to me or make any plans with me since. it's just sorta sad, even if i am happy for her. i know she was really lonely, too, and was worried about being alone long term just like i was and so i'm happy she doesn't have to worry about that anymore.

outside of my family, i don't really have many friends. but the few i do also have gotten into relationships recently, and it's still much the same. the few people i had to spend time with now don't really have much time for me because they have partners now, and i can't relate to them like i did before because of it. i'm slowly becoming more isolated and alone as everyone around me finds their people.

i feel completely worthless, undesirable, and unlovable. i've accepted i'm going to die alone but it still hurts. and in my situation it is genuinely impossible for me to ever find a partner. at my age everyone already has their social circles and partners, if you don't already have those things you're fucked forever. it's impossible to even meet new people, and believe me i have tried. i have tried everything i can and i am still alone, even in just a platonic sense i haven't even been able to meet new people to just talk to or be friends with or see every now and then or anything. i'm still so alone. and since i'm a gay tgirl it only gets even harder to find anyone on top of everything else. i feel so disgusting all the time anymore and i can't take it. i feel subhuman.

i relate to this so much. i am planning on dying alone, and it's been hard accepting this fact. i'm not the kind of girl people pursue, i'm not going to find someone that can tolerate me. it is comforting to see someone else who understands. i'm sorry you're going through this. :(