Method Every method is hard to implement.

[thefirstluminary]

I've been going through SaSu megathreads looking for methods to ctb, but every option feels completely out of reach. Hanging requires a rope I can't afford I even accidentally asked a friend about it, which made him suspicious. Jumping is impossible since there are no tall buildings accessible in my town. SN would be perfect, but again, no money. I gave up reading about other methods since they all seemed too complicated and just not possible for me.
I tried the carbon monoxide method using a gas stove in a small room, but couldn't go through with it. The physical sensations were unbearable pounding headache, dizzy like I was about to pass out, heart racing out of my chest, and suffocating shortness of breath. No matter how hard I tried to force myself to stay, I'd always end up leaving. Plus, my family could catch me anytime.

What's messed up is how many people in my country die accidentally from this - entire families just peacefully falling asleep. It's devastating but also seems like such an ideal way out, though I can't handle the actual experience.
Can you guys help me out please while also I wanna hear about some attempts of members here and how it did go

 

[heroingirl]

i've tried a few methods. cutting was my first before i knew how bunk it was. didn't do shit but give me more scars. tried overdosing but that's not a good method either. an older user that used to be active really active on here had a really good thread on why it's not a good idea. but he found his way out already. athiestjoe i wanna say? wanted to hang myself but couldn't get past the hard part. kicking the chair. i have SN right now but i don't know where to do it yet. i dont want someone to have to feel the pain of finding me

 

[tonicer]

I'm saving up money to afford a train trip to a city with skyscrapers for jumping once my time comes. I can't right now because my mom is still alive. She's old (almost 80) and sick so i might have to wait 10 or 15 years but i made it to 43 so i can make it for an additional 1/4 of that time i think. I can't hurt her by dying before her. The thought of her having to bury me breaks my heart.

 

[rip_van_winkle]

Going through a similar phase. Cutting didn't work, it became too painful. I did it with a broken porcelain cup like an idiot. Meds didn't work, I'm still thinking of making a random concoction of meds along with CBD, but that feels like that'll just be pain without success as well. I could never try suffocation as I suffer anxiety and panic attacks on the regular so it feels AWFUL even when my airways are perfectly fine. CTBing shouldn't be this hard... I wish I could press a button and just sleep forever.

 

[thefirstluminary]

cutting was my first before

I was about to try cutting to see what's the appeal in it but I chickened out I didn't really wanna go for it as a method of ctb cause before I joined here in this form I was reading a book about suicide it mentioned you have to go through several layers to actually reach the artery lol I couldn't even try to make a slight cut let alone go through several layers

tried overdosing

I thought of overdosing but I never did drugs and have no money to even buy them nor I know dealers to buy from I don't think they will even sell them to me

couldn't get past the hard part. kicking the chair.

isn't that a bad method though being hanged and self suffocated are very different self suffocation is very painful and takes too much to time for person to die that way

I'm saving up money to afford a train trip to a city with skyscrapers for jumping once my time comes. I can't right now because my mom is still alive. She's old (almost 80) and sick so i might have to wait 10 or 15 years but i made it to 43 so i can make it for an additional 1/4 of that time i think. I can't hurt her by dying before her. The thought of her having to bury me breaks my heart.

I feel you I myself have a big family and everyone will get really devastated by me killing myself that's why I'm trying to look for an optimal way that doesn't really make them suspicious
I think your mother really loves you please don't hurt her like that she is 80 and probably went through a lot of stuff in her life and you ending your life will only increase her suffering

 

[EndThatSuffer]

I think the best method still with fsh.
A rope or something to hang yourself should not be so hard to find, or just save some money for buy it in future, it doesn't cost too much.

Once you stop the blood flow to brain (some seconds) you are done.
(ofc not by suffocating like someone said in another comment, that will be a pain)

 

[thefirstluminary]

I think the best method still with fsh.
A rope or something to hang yourself should not be so hard to find, or just save some money for buy it in future, it doesn't cost too much.

Once you stop the blood flow to brain (some seconds) you are done.
(ofc not by suffocating like someone said in another comment, that will be a pain)

my town is small there in isolated place to actually hang myself I might get caught and I don't wanna risk that there is a great spot in my house where I can do it but my family is always home so not ideal also I'm sorry for asking but what's fsh?

 

[EndThatSuffer]

my town is small there in isolated place to actually hang myself I might get caught and I don't wanna risk that there is a great spot in my house where I can do it but my family is always home so not ideal also I'm sorry for asking but what's fsh?

Full suspension hang (i think its the best method)

Aniway you can always try to move to more isolated places, like inside woods or some abandoned cabin, or you need just wait when ther is no one at home unfortunatly

 

[thefirstluminary]

isolated places, like inside woods or some abandoned cabin,

abandoned cabin is great but I don't think I can find one as for the woods it's quite small and people are there all the time can get caught very easily as for home not really they always let my little brother or my grand mother so it's never empty
I also don't wanna traumatize anyone hanging will break my neck and it's very ugly looking and get my family really suspicious I don't wanna make it look like a suicide

 

[interna]

sadly, dying is hard

 

[thefirstluminary]

sadly, dying is hard

I know right it's so miserable can't even find a way to end it all in peace sigh
I will just live and see if something clicks up

 

[kouna]

I'm saving up money to afford a train trip to a city with skyscrapers for jumping once my time comes. I can't right now because my mom is still alive. She's old (almost 80) and sick so i might have to wait 10 or 15 years but i made it to 43 so i can make it for an additional 1/4 of that time i think. I can't hurt her by dying before her. The thought of her having to bury me breaks my heart.

Man, that's exactly like reading my own situation. I'm 43 yo, mother is close to 80 (78 to be precise) but quite healthy and I wouldn't like to hurt her.
However, my train of thought is totally different. I keep thinking: " She'll probably live a few years more, how the fuck am I going to make it?"

 

[thefirstluminary]

Man, that's exactly like reading my own situation. I'm 43 yo, mother is close to 80 (78 to be precise) but quite healthy and I wouldn't like to hurt her.
However, my train of thought is totally different. I keep thinking: " She'll probably live a few years more, how the fuck am I going to make it?"

Why not choose a method that doesn't look like suicide? If you make it look like an accident, she probably won't think you killed yourself intentionally even if doctors know it was suicide, she might not accept it well unless she already knows you're suicidal

 

[Dejected 55]

Some methods cost too much money, especially if part of your problem is not having any money. Other methods can be hard to get, whether it be because of restrictions or bans or because of where you are located in the world. Then there's having a place to do it without being interrupted... so many hurdles. Many methods are difficult to execute, many have high failure rates even if you do everything correctly. Some have major downsides... and every time you fail it takes a chunk out of your soul that you already couldn't spare.

 

[kouna]

Why not choose a method that doesn't look like suicide? If you make it look like an accident, she probably won't think you killed yourself intentionally even if doctors know it was suicide, she might not accept it well unless she already knows you're suicidal

I already have a failed suicide attempt in my "history" (jump from 3rd floor, luckily my mobility was not affected very much). It was done impulsively when I couldn't handle a panic attack and that's why it failed.
Making anything (any kind of suicide, murder etc) look like an accident is really hard, I really have no idea how I would do it.
I've come very close to completing a FSH but I'm glad I didn't do it because I need to finish with my divorce first.

 

[thefirstluminary]

Some methods cost too much money, especially if part of your problem is not having any money. Other methods can be hard to get, whether it be because of restrictions or bans or because of where you are located in the world. Then there's having a place to do it without being interrupted... so many hurdles. Many methods are difficult to execute, many have high failure rates even if you do everything correctly. Some have major downsides... and every time you fail it takes a chunk out of your soul that you already couldn't spare.

but how I thought many methods have a really high success rate when you say this it feels like I can never do it
this is just ridiculous I always hated my country can't do shit here even killing myself ironically if I lived somewhere else I could easily jump from a bridge or something and done

I already have a failed suicide attempt in my "history" (jump from 3rd floor, luckily my mobility was not affected very much). It was done impulsively when I couldn't handle a panic attack and that's why it failed.
Making anything (any kind of suicide, murder etc) look like an accident is really hard, I really have no idea how I would do it.
I've come very close to completing a FSH but I'm glad I didn't do it because I need to finish with my divorce first.

Even taking Sn? I'm sure there is a way to do it esp the carbon carbon monoxide one
I'm glad you actually still holding up and your attempt didn't lead to you being harmed or anything ♥

 

[Dejected 55]

but how I thought many methods have a really high success rate when you say this it feels like I can never do it
this is just ridiculous I always hated my country can't do shit here even killing myself ironically if I lived somewhere else I could easily jump from a bridge or something and done

Even taking Sn? I'm sure there is a way to do it esp the carbon carbon monoxide one
I'm glad you actually still holding up and your attempt didn't lead to you being harmed or anything ♥

There are some methods with higher rates than others. I think guns have a higher success rate, but you can still fail at that and guns aren't cheap or always easy to come by. Most methods even if you do them correctly have a rate of failure associated that, given how shitty and unlucky we are, tends to work against us. The more you want something, the less likely you are to get it.

Jumping isn't a guarantee either. People survive falls from surprisingly high places. Sometimes even with minor injuries... but many people sustain serious injuries that have them in pain in the moment but also sometimes permanent injuries that make life even worse... and depending on how you get injured, your failed attempt might make it that much harder to try again later if your mobility is affected, for instance.

 

[thefirstluminary]

how shitty and unlucky we are, tends to work against us. The more you want something, the less likely you are to get it.

I know right the world is such a strange place I reached to a point where I literally envy the dead some people die in such unexpected ways and I wish it happens to me soon enough... I mean it will happen at some point but now is better

and depending on how you get injured, your failed attempt might make it that much harder to try again later if your mobility is affected, for instance.

that's true I heard about such cases of people jumping from really high places and not dying and the opposite too people jumping from not so high places and end up dying I remember there was chick here who attempted that and now is disabled this makes me so sad

 

[kouna]

Even taking Sn?

Coincidently, the day before I jumped I had received half a kilo of SN, it's very easy to get here. I sent it back the same moment because it was also bought on a whim and without planning, I didn't even know that you had to take the anti-emetics and fast etc. That was 3.5 years ago, now I know much more about medicine in general (after all I spent 2 months in the hospital and another month at the psych ward last summer) and about CTBing.

 

[Penelope12]

How do you do with a gas oven? That's interesting

 

[thefirstluminary]

Coincidently, the day before I jumped I had received half a kilo of SN, it's very easy to get here. I sent it back the same moment because it was also bought on a whim and without planning, I didn't even know that you had to take the anti-emetics and fast etc. That was 3.5 years ago, now I know much more about medicine in general (after all I spent 2 months in the hospital and another month at the psych ward last summer) and about CTBing.

that sounds neat but I think it's best to reconsider you know... your mother maybe wait a while longer then decide what to do

How do you do with a gas oven? That's interesting

this is a bit embarrassing and I hate to admit it but inside of our house there is sort of an Inner courtyard in middle of it which makes our house open and it's really cold during winter so sometimes during it I like to use this ancient gas oven to make bathroom warm so I can shower without the water getting cold or freezing cause the bathroom is in the hall so it's facing the inner courtyard I know I know it's dumb I can always quickly shower or keep clothes in bathroom and change there but we are kind used to this at this point many people died in my country due to these ovens being faulty or other stuff related to carbon monoxide so I thought I could do it but didn't really go well like I explained in my first post I sometimes get too comfy there and stay for a bit too long which makes me really sleepy and dizzy

sorry if you didn't understand what I said please tell me to rephrase my english is not so good and I'm turbofag lol

 

[gardenoflonely]

The reality is that every method is hard for different reasons. I know there's rankings and the like but regardless of where a method falls nothing is going to be easy, legal, cheap, and accessible besides just falling asleep and never waking up.

As a kid I tried suffocation more than once (pillow or plastic bag) not knowing better and that was the only thing I could think of at the time. I thought it would be easy and quick like the movies I'd seen but it takes a very long time. Honestly to this day I'm still not even sure how people have successfully used this method to ctb, for me it was agony and it's basically torturing yourself the entire time. I've heard handcuffs can help but the SI didn't seem to be the problem for me. In one attempt I panicked at first and tried to reach up to rip the bag off but I felt this sudden flood of hopelessness over me and my arms dropped back down. It was still taking forever though and I had to take it off - it hurts a lot on your chest and kinda in the head too, I was talking myself through the feeling but after so long it does get frustrating. I tried to overdose once too as a freshman in hs, it didn't really do anything though and I haven't tried that again since realizing it's a non-method. I wish this wasn't so hard. I wish humans had a shutoff switch for life or something and we got to be in control of when it was switched off painlessly. It's so scary to think that even without planning a way to ctb I'd still just be waiting around for life to take me because either way an end is coming and I have no say in that.

 

[thefirstluminary]

The reality is that every method is hard for different reasons. I know there's rankings and the like but regardless of where a method falls nothing is going to be easy, legal, cheap, and accessible besides just falling asleep and never waking up.

As a kid I tried suffocation more than once (pillow or plastic bag) not knowing better and that was the only thing I could think of at the time. I thought it would be easy and quick like the movies I'd seen but it takes a very long time. Honestly to this day I'm still not even sure how people have successfully used this method to ctb, for me it was agony and it's basically torturing yourself the entire time. I've heard handcuffs can help but the SI didn't seem to be the problem for me. In one attempt I panicked at first and tried to reach up to rip the bag off but I felt this sudden flood of hopelessness over me and my arms dropped back down. It was still taking forever though and I had to take it off - it hurts a lot on your chest and kinda in the head too, I was talking myself through the feeling but after so long it does get frustrating. I tried to overdose once too as a freshman in hs, it didn't really do anything though and I haven't tried that again since realizing it's a non-method. I wish this wasn't so hard. I wish humans had a shutoff switch for life or something and we got to be in control of when it was switched off painlessly. It's so scary to think that even without planning a way to ctb I'd still just be waiting around for life to take me because either way an end is coming and I have no say in that.

that's horrible I'm really sorry you had to go through it all
it's true almost all methods are not optimal for most people but failing and the inaccessibility of suicide methods makes me feel miserable more than already I'm if I failed at killing myself and doing it what else is left for me I do wish too for a button to end it all lol

 

[Dejected 55]

There used to be less control over medications that you could use to commit suicide. Also, the older cars were good CO producers and it was relatively easy to die in a garage with a car back then. But over time and with repeated news stories, governments have cracked down on most of the really easy really effective ways of suicide... for the "good" of all I guess.

On the jumping/falling thing... I remember back when Christopher Reeve had his accident riding the horse, where the horse threw him off during a jump and he landed right on his head, compressed his spine, and was paralyzed for the rest of his life. Weirdly, a few years after his accident I saw someone else doing a similar jump on a horse, have what looked like the same accident landing on their head hard... that person got up, brushed themself off and just had a sore neck for a few days. You just can't tell sometimes what is and what isn't going to be fatal.

 

[thefirstluminary]

There used to be less control over medications that you could use to commit suicide. Also, the older cars were good CO producers and it was relatively easy to die in a garage with a car back then. But over time and with repeated news stories, governments have cracked down on most of the really easy really effective ways of suicide... for the "good" of all I guess.

I never seen anyone in my country trying to suicide via medication or any of the other methods most either jump from a high building, cut or stab themselves (it usually never works), most of these people don't really care and just down bad and they end up doing anything to die
this is grim why now from all times

that person got up, brushed themself off and just had a sore neck for a few days. You just can't tell sometimes what is and what isn't going to be fatal.

I did hear stories about similar thing but jumping it's really weird how can a lethal jump or something won't kill you the human body is so weird it's so fragile but can be so durable or it's just luck I guess lol speaking of luck I think I will end up failing miserably and end up with a really bad injury I know my luck

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand and I just always suffer so much from being trapped in this torturous, dreadful existence so cruelly denied the option to peacefully cease existing and never suffer ever again. There's just so much cruelty in how painless, guaranteed ways to cease existing are made inaccessible with the suffering and torture of existing seen as to force and prolong no matter what, all I want is peace from this dreadful, torturous existence, I just want to peacefully cease existing with no more pain and no more suffering.

 

[Dejected 55]

The thing about falling is how you fall and where you land. People have dropped from higher than the tallest buildings and survived. For one thing, there comes a point after which going higher doesn't increase your chances because once you're high enough to reach terminal velocity, going higher doesn't increase your falling speed. Then there's things like wind resistance too, a fall from a low height doesn't let you build enough speed or time to have wind play a big part, but the higher you go, the wind can actually cushion your fall a bit. Sidewalks and roads are harder than the ground, usually so where you land makes a difference. Then there's your body tension, the tenser you are the more likely you are to be hurt in the fall.

Example... you'll read a lot about cases where someone high on drugs causes a car accident and the person they hit will be hurt badly, but the drugged up person sometimes just walks away. Part of that is the drugs numbing pain, but also, the drugs keep you from tensing up at the moment of impact, and it turns out a lot of people get as much or more damage due to the tensing of their own bodies than the impact itself. Think about stuntmen... they learn how to fall to minimize injuries. Some people do this accidentally or instinctively, which makes it harder for them to get hurt in a fall. More people break an arm or twist their back trying to stop a fall than they would be hurt if they just tucked their arms in and allowed the fall to happen.

The worst fall I ever had in my house, falling off an unstable position while trying to reach something high... it took me so by surprise that I didn't have time to react so I just fell on my back. I had a nice bruise, but that was it... no broken hand or arm from trying to stop myself like probably would have happened if I'd had time to react.

All that is to say... it's hard to say any fall/jump from any particular height is automatically "lethal" in and of itself. So many variables and crazy things have happened that minimized injuries or allowed people to walk away with no injuries... then a simple fall off the curb cripples someone. Heck, a fall down a flight of stairs is a lot more dangerous than a fall straight down from that same height in terms of likelihood of suffering at least some injury.

 

[thefirstluminary]

I really understand and I just always suffer so much from being trapped in this torturous, dreadful existence so cruelly denied the option to peacefully cease existing and never suffer ever again. There's just so much cruelty in how painless, guaranteed ways to cease existing are made inaccessible with the suffering and torture of existing seen as to force and prolong no matter what, all I want is peace from this dreadful, torturous existence, I just want to peacefully cease existing with no more pain and no more suffering.

I hear you, and I'm so sorry. It's okay to be exhausted. You're not alone

The thing about falling is how you fall and where you land. People have dropped from higher than the tallest buildings and survived. For one thing, there comes a point after which going higher doesn't increase your chances because once you're high enough to reach terminal velocity, going higher doesn't increase your falling speed. Then there's things like wind resistance too, a fall from a low height doesn't let you build enough speed or time to have wind play a big part, but the higher you go, the wind can actually cushion your fall a bit. Sidewalks and roads are harder than the ground, usually so where you land makes a difference. Then there's your body tension, the tenser you are the more likely you are to be hurt in the fall.

Example... you'll read a lot about cases where someone high on drugs causes a car accident and the person they hit will be hurt badly, but the drugged up person sometimes just walks away. Part of that is the drugs numbing pain, but also, the drugs keep you from tensing up at the moment of impact, and it turns out a lot of people get as much or more damage due to the tensing of their own bodies than the impact itself. Think about stuntmen... they learn how to fall to minimize injuries. Some people do this accidentally or instinctively, which makes it harder for them to get hurt in a fall. More people break an arm or twist their back trying to stop a fall than they would be hurt if they just tucked their arms in and allowed the fall to happen.

The worst fall I ever had in my house, falling off an unstable position while trying to reach something high... it took me so by surprise that I didn't have time to react so I just fell on my back. I had a nice bruise, but that was it... no broken hand or arm from trying to stop myself like probably would have happened if I'd had time to react.

All that is to say... it's hard to say any fall/jump from any particular height is automatically "lethal" in and of itself. So many variables and crazy things have happened that minimized injuries or allowed people to walk away with no injuries... then a simple fall off the curb cripples someone. Heck, a fall down a flight of stairs is a lot more dangerous than a fall straight down from that same height in terms of likelihood of suffering at least some injury.

That's actually really informative I didn't know about this at all, especially the tension part. Thank you so much for the helpful info I'll definitely keep it in mind. I do have another question, though: does jumping into water from a high distance actually kill you? It always seemed unrealistic whenever I hear about people jumping from bridges or see it in movies.

 

[Dejected 55]

I hear you, and I'm so sorry. It's okay to be exhausted. You're not alone

That's actually really informative I didn't know about this at all, especially the tension part. Thank you so much for the helpful info I'll definitely keep it in mind. I do have another question, though: does jumping into water from a high distance actually kill you? It always seemed unrealistic whenever I hear about people jumping from bridges or see it in movies.

You're welcome. Water... that's an interesting thing. Some people die from the fear of the fall. I don't know how many, but some apparently do. Water is also kind of dangerous if you don't hit it right. You can easily test this in a bathtub or swimming pool. You can easily go in and out of the water, but smack your hand hard, flat on the surface. Do it just right and you can really feel the sting. So, diving into water from a great height and hitting the water flat (i.e. your body is parallel to the surface of the water) would feel the same as hitting concrete at that speed. So, you could suffer major injuries and possibly die from that kind of an impact.

IF you dive proper and cut into the water like a diver does, with minimal splash, then you avoid the initial impact jolt. If you can't swim, then your momentum is going to carry you deep and you might drown before you could naturally float back to the surface. You might also panic and drown too. IF done in the winter, the water could be cold enough to kill you that way too.

So, there's a lot of ways to die jumping into the water. But you could also die just wading into or jumping into from the shore if you can't swim and/or it is very cold. Or you could drive a car into the water and be stuck inside the car under the water and drown that way.

As in all things, it's also possible to survive too. Combination of your survival instinct and if there are rescue people around who can get to you fast enough.

 

[thefirstluminary]

That sounds so thrilling it honestly makes me want to jump off something high into the water and survive, hahaha! It must feel incredible. I kinda feel hitting the water flat doesn't look as lethal as hitting concrete, but your point totally makes sense

d you might drown before you could naturally float back to the surface. You might also panic and drown too. IF done in the winter, the water could be cold enough to kill you that way too.

I've heard drowning is a brutal, panic filled way to die that leaves your body deformed and blue not peaceful at all. But what you said about dying from the cold is really interesting. Is that hypothermia? It's actually wild to think you could die from the freezing water itself I want that