Doll Steak
Member
- May 31, 2025
- 65
Why must my own suicide affect others so painfully? Unless you have no family or a family that doesn't care there will be no leaving this world without causing some kind of pain to those around you. I hate this thought, its so fucking cruel that to "end" my own pain I'm truthfully just passing it on. To my siblings, to my parents.
My own mom has told me before randomly in passing that if something happened to me she might die. She wasn't trying to black mail me, we weren't even speaking about suicide, it just came up in a discussion of life when I was a kid. I don't like my mom much but I know the rest of my family needs her, so my own death would break the entire god damn family, she would probably kill herself following my death, and then maybe others will.
Fuck this existence, I just want to go when its time, no one has to cherish, no one has to grieve for me. I just want love but even that comes with its pain.
My own mom has told me before randomly in passing that if something happened to me she might die. She wasn't trying to black mail me, we weren't even speaking about suicide, it just came up in a discussion of life when I was a kid. I don't like my mom much but I know the rest of my family needs her, so my own death would break the entire god damn family, she would probably kill herself following my death, and then maybe others will.
Fuck this existence, I just want to go when its time, no one has to cherish, no one has to grieve for me. I just want love but even that comes with its pain.
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