Envy

[deletednumber]

practically every day I read the news of suicides, and every time I feel envious of those who succeed and I do not understand how they manage to do it despite choosing rather crude and gory ways. I wonder why I have not succeeded. Sometimes people die for a nothing ... and others have to try and try again

 

[suicide4me]

I agree so much with this. I get so envious and even jealous when I read everyday about people successfully ctb. This is supposed to be my ctb month, but I don't know if I will be able to go thru with it as intended or if I'll have to postpone. All I know is I an envious of all the brothers and sisters who have gone before us and successfully ctb and the peace they found.

 

[WornOutLife]

Yeah. I envy and also admire those people.
They just have what I don't: COURAGE.

 

[saltshaker]

It's not a race. Your time will come.

 

[deletednumber]

I agree so much with this. I get so envious and even jealous when I read everyday about people successfully ctb. This is supposed to be my ctb month, but I don't know if I will be able to go thru with it as intended or if I'll have to postpone. All I know is I an envious of all the brothers and sisters who have gone before us and successfully ctb and the peace they found.

I would like to ctb this month too but there is a big chance that my moment will be postponed. I keep wondering how they do it, sometimes they are children, twelve, fourteen and they have this strength and courage! May their souls be at peace

 

[FuneralCry]

I can relate to this. ctb is actually a hard task and requires lots of courage so I have similar feelings of envy. I envy people who aren't alive anymore who don't have to live in this prison like existence. Eternal nothingness sounds so nice.

 

[suicide4me]

I would like to ctb this month too but there is a big chance that my moment will be postponed. I keep wondering how they do it, sometimes they are children, twelve, fourteen and they have this strength and courage! May their souls be at peace

I think the same things, I hope I can have that courage and strength when my time comes. I really hope I don't have to postpone, but it seems like I may have to as well. May all of their souls be at peace indeed, and may ours soon be at peace too.

 

[deletednumber]

Yeah. I envy and also admire those people.
They just have what I don't: COURAGE.

I Think that most of the time it is not a question of courage, but of desperation and impulsiveness.We who do not succeed perhaps we think about it a little too much and we get a lot of mental disturbances or maybe we are not ready, in our depth we want to live, we are just tired because our sufferings have taken over our lives.

 

[Pookie]

Yup, some people die without trying. Some people die when they don't want to. And then you get people like us who try and don't succeed. And we WANT to die.

I Think that most of the time it is not a question of courage, but of desperation and impulsiveness.We who do not succeed perhaps we think about it a little too much and we get a lot of mental disturbances or maybe we are not ready, in our depth we want to live, we are just tired because our sufferings have taken over our lives.

View attachment 67690

I didn't succeed because I was discovered.

 

[deletednumber]

I can relate to this. ctb is actually a hard task and requires lots of courage so I have similar feelings of envy. I envy people who aren't alive anymore who don't have to live in this prison like existence. Eternal nothingness sounds so nice.

Yeah,i mean there are people who perform this act in a second and away, almost naturally, and others like me who plan and day after day, month after month, year after year are still here. I admire those who make the decision immediately and then simply do it.

It's not a race. Your time will come.

I know,i'm just so tired, i don't want to continue much longer

It's not a race. Your time will come.

I know,i'm just so tired, i don't want to continue much longer

I can relate to this. ctb is actually a hard task and requires lots of courage so I have similar feelings of envy. I envy people who aren't alive anymore who don't have to live in this prison like existence. Eternal nothingness sounds so nice.

Exactly it was beautiful when I didn't exist!

 

[deletednumber]

I think the same things, I hope I can have that courage and strength when my time comes. I really hope I don't have to postpone, but it seems like I may have to as well. May all of their souls be at peace indeed, and may ours soon be at peace too.

Yeah! I wish you it is quick and painless

Yup, some people die without trying. Some people die when they don't want to. And then you get people like us who try and don't succeed. And we WANT to die.

I didn't succeed because I was discovered.

I'm sorry! I was discovered too but this did not stop me from trying again and again, unfortunately not all methods are good, everyone has their own personal

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

I'm jealous of people who have the courage to ctb, I am jealous of people who die in accidents, I'm jealous of people that get killed, jealous of people that get sick too. I hope some of you will be jealous of me one day.