Venting dysphoria is *bad* bad

[Khaos_Playground]

I genuinely think if I didn't have dysphoria I never wouldve attempted previously and wouldnt be planning to ctb right now. I wrote out a note listing my reasons and its literally all about the dysphoria that has ruined my life. all the trauma and pain I've been through is light in comparison and ive gone through so much shit lmao, I thought starting hrt would make it better but it really hasn't done much, the improvement its made is marginal because puberty made sure I will never pass and I can never and will never be able to afford the surgeries necessary to allow me to pass. I am fucked beyond saving at this point and its all because I was forced through male puberty knowing the whole time I was trans and I couldn't do anything about it because care as a minor is illegal where I am. I would've been fine with a life as shitty as this one has been if not worse if only I could've lived it as a woman from the start. Honestly lately I've been hoping reincarnation is real, because if it is I'll reroll my life over and over until I get just one life where I get to be a cis woman, or at least a wealthy trans woman with accepting parents who starts hrt early lmao.

anyways thanks for listening to me ramble into the void if anyone is even reading this lol, hope you all have a good day

 

[miserabletranny]

I understand, and I'm sorry. I wouldn't be suicidal if I weren't trans. I wish I could have gotten test as a minor, I hate my body so much. The only reason I attempted is because I was feeling dysphoric on the day my mom told me I would never be male and she would never see me as her son. I wish we could've been cis.

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

its not my only reason but its something that has affected me a lot. i really wish i could have been born with the right body. im sorry you have to go through this, no one should have to.

 

[21Guns]

Please the least you can do is uninstalling socials or at least filtering your content.
You are more than your body and i'm sure you'll find somebody that love you and makes you forget all your insecurities, we're just passing through this world; our physical form isn't as important as our soul. Just be. I'm getting through similar circomstances (except i'm a male, speaking about dysmorphia) and i know that it is really hard to cope

 

[esotericaa]

i understand you so hard, i feel like i'd be so much happier now if i was born a guy, it wouldn't solve all my problems probably but it just feels like i'd be operating on a more bearable level... life is really unfair isn't it :( im so sorry

 

[cantthinkofusername]

i know what you mean. it's truly unbearable. it's ruined my life and it's ruined me. im just now coming to terms with the fact that i started hrt too late, and from the beginning, it was hopeless. if i could be a girl then everything would be okay, but i can't, it's too late now, and there's nothing i can do. hrt didn't help. ffs didn't help. it's hopeless. i wish id killed myself instead of transitioning from the beginning, in the end it's all for nothing. sending hugs :c

 

[Khaos_Playground]

Please the least you can do is uninstalling socials or at least filtering your content.
You are more than your body and i'm sure you'll find somebody that love you and makes you forget all your insecurities, we're just passing through this world; our physical form isn't as important as our soul. Just be. I'm getting through similar circomstances (except i'm a male, speaking about dysmorphia) and i know that it is really hard to cope

I've taken breaks from most social medias lately, I think I'll fully uninstall twitter now though to see if that helps given that website makes me feel that everyone hates all trans people. My issue is mainly what happens offline given I can't really be myself or even look in the mirror without crying, but I do thank you for your suggestion because I think it will help my quality of life at least to some degree

i know what you mean. it's truly unbearable. it's ruined my life and it's ruined me. im just now coming to terms with the fact that i started hrt too late, and from the beginning, it was hopeless. if i could be a girl then everything would be okay, but i can't, it's too late now, and there's nothing i can do. hrt didn't help. ffs didn't help. it's hopeless. i wish id killed myself instead of transitioning from the beginning, in the end it's all for nothing. sending hugs :c

That must be unbearable to have gone through ffs and still not be happy with it. I'm so terribly sorry for you, I wish you could've gotten luckier in life, sending hugs right back

its not my only reason but its something that has affected me a lot. i really wish i could have been born with the right body. im sorry you have to go through this, no one should have to.

i understand you so hard, i feel like i'd be so much happier now if i was born a guy, it wouldn't solve all my problems probably but it just feels like i'd be operating on a more bearable level... life is really unfair isn't it :( im so sorry

I understand, and I'm sorry. I wouldn't be suicidal if I weren't trans. I wish I could have gotten test as a minor, I hate my body so much. The only reason I attempted is because I was feeling dysphoric on the day my mom told me I would never be male and she would never see me as her son. I wish we could've been cis.

Im so sorry to all of you too :( i hope at the very least you all get to be happier in your transitions someday, sending love to all of you

 

[desiderium]

As a fellow member of the trans community, I understand and relate painfully hard.

How do people expect us to continue living when we can't even feel safe or secure in our own vessels? How are we supposed to live a 'happy life' when our bodies are foreign and wrong? I've been on HRT for over a year now, and the dysphoria hasn't lessened. I too will never pass like some of my friends do. I'm doomed to live out my rotten existence in a body that doesn't even feel like mine, and I doubt that feeling will ever change no matter how many surgeries or hormones I try.

It's a terrible feeling. I'm so sorry you're struggling with it. I hope that one day, in another life, you'll wake up as the beautiful woman you always were.

 

[cantthinkofusername]

hugs 2 everyone. it really is bleak out there.

 

[carfemtanyl]

I feel you

 

[pattyr26]

im a trans woman too, i defintely understand you. i hope things get better for you, as corny as that sounds.

 

[lonely_potato]

I genuinely think if I didn't have dysphoria I never wouldve attempted previously and wouldnt be planning to ctb right now. I wrote out a note listing my reasons and its literally all about the dysphoria that has ruined my life. all the trauma and pain I've been through is light in comparison and ive gone through so much shit lmao, I thought starting hrt would make it better but it really hasn't done much, the improvement its made is marginal because puberty made sure I will never pass and I can never and will never be able to afford the surgeries necessary to allow me to pass. I am fucked beyond saving at this point and its all because I was forced through male puberty knowing the whole time I was trans and I couldn't do anything about it because care as a minor is illegal where I am. I would've been fine with a life as shitty as this one has been if not worse if only I could've lived it as a woman from the start. Honestly lately I've been hoping reincarnation is real, because if it is I'll reroll my life over and over until I get just one life where I get to be a cis woman, or at least a wealthy trans woman with accepting parents who starts hrt early lmao.

anyways thanks for listening to me ramble into the void if anyone is even reading this lol, hope you all have a good day

I'm sorry the dysphoria has been so much. I totally understand the pain of it, and wish you didn't have to go through it. Wishing you well.