Don't Know Why

[idontknow42]

I don't know why I am so so depressed, but in the back of my head I do? Like, there's a million things going on at once and even though I don't individually think about them, all of them combined make me want to die.

It's really hard to describe, and makes it very difficult to get any help because I can't address of direct problems. Therefore leading me down this path. I also feel like even if these problems were solved, I'll still be empty and dead inside, wanting to CTB.

IDK! I have no energy to go through all of my thoughts, I don't even have the energy to speak to people. So so lost. Can anyone relate/describe it better?

 

[WornOutLife]

I think I get it. I used to have this kind of constant brainstorming on my head and couldn't even sleep.
I had so many problems that I couldn't find the root but my conclusion is that I'm simply suicidal because no matter what I do or have, I will always find this world and universe nonsense and pointless.

 

[idontknow42]

I think I get it. I used to have this kind of constant brainstorming on my head and couldn't even sleep.
I had so many problems that I couldn't find the root but my conclusion is that I'm simply suicidal because no matter what I do or have, I will always find this world and universe nonsense and pointless.

Yes, this! *I forgot what I was even going to say here, this CONSTANT brainstorming just fogs up everything. Like a thought "maybe its" comes through.

Part of me wants to be alive, but as the days go by, I impulsively further my plans to CTB as I cannot find the root cause to get help. It sucks, I'm crying for help but what is anyone else going to do if I don't even know whats wrong.