Venting Done being nice, done trying...

[g0921]

Lived as a friendly human for 30years...

I don't enjoy myself being mean/ not friendly.
But I am so tired, I don't have any spare bit to play nice anymore.
Even in small talks with coworkers, and my partner...I know now I am a complete downer, but I just can't.
(I really don't care about your weekend, or how have you been...)
(I am also extra mean to my boyfriend... as he is living in my dream>>>contracted artist, popular, get many likes in social media, easily moved to a new country with my help. While nobody help me, in the days that I moved here ALONE. Guess life is just not fair:D)

Beside that.... especially to people who are good looking or generally popular and nice.
The world have been treating them well anyway, so why should I?
And sometimes secretly feel like they are just playing nice so they can keep faking their "good" characters.

Just saying... so i can get this off my chest.X_X

 

[Umbrella Weather]

I am right there with you...

I don't like picturing myself as someone who is unpleasant, but the fact of the matter is that world is unpleasant and I am just another victim of its unpleasantness.

Though there are those moments of kindness, a smile, an acknowledgment of our being that can allow us to grind and grimace through another moment of existence... But not for long, I fear.

 

[g0921]

I am right there with you...

I don't like picturing myself as someone who is unpleasant, but the fact of the matter is that world is unpleasant and I am just another victim of its unpleasantness.

Though there are those moments of kindness, a smile, an acknowledgment of our being that can allow us to grind and grimace through another moment of existence... But not for long, I fear.

I am very proud that we tried till the last.
Even tho I still irrationally feeling bad about it X_X.

And I forgot to mention...
it SUCKSSSSSSSS when people keep taking advantage of those who are kind.

 

[Umbrella Weather]

I am very proud that we tried till the last.
Even tho I still irrationally feeling bad about it X_X.

And I forgot to mention...
it SUCKSSSSSSSS when people keep taking advantage of those who are kind.

I became distracted by my own need to appear kind that I neglected to make the point which I had intended when responding to your original post (because I related to it so much):

Resent and resentfulness is an emotion that I am only recently becoming comfortable with... Previously I would have said I 'hate' these fuckers, but what I have come to understand is that I resent them—I resent them with all of the power I can muster. I resent their ease and ambition, their fluidity in a world that feels grimy, their ability in a world that has cut me off at the knees.

Resent is honest and true... Thank you for sharing a story which illustrates the desperation such an emotion can provoke.

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally find people to be very tiring and overall I cannot stand people. I do not have the energy to be around others, some people can make our lives much worse. It is true that life is so unfair overall. I wish you the best.

 

[g0921]

I became distracted by my own need to appear kind that I neglected to make the point which I had intended when responding to your original post (because I related to it so much):

Resent and resentfulness is an emotion that I am only recently becoming comfortable with... Previously I would have said I 'hate' these fuckers, but what I have come to understand is that I resent them—I resent them with all of the power I can muster. I resent their ease and ambition, their fluidity in a world that feels grimy, their ability in a world that has cut me off at the knees.

Resent is honest and true... Thank you for sharing a story which illustrates the desperation such an emotion can provoke.

And envy.

I am still saying I hate them, but most of it is envy(which i would never admit that) and a little amount of resentment...
I only hate myself to be such a loser. Or i can also shamelessly blame my parents for what I am today.

Glad there is people reply me. As my thought and speech is never well organized. And It sounds like me talking to only myself.

I personally find people to be very tiring and overall I cannot stand people. I do not have the energy to be around others, some people can make our lives much worse. It is true that life is so unfair overall. I wish you the best.

I tried and I hoped I can overcome it someday...

After years of (the waste of )effort,
finally came to the point to accept that "people and life are just not my thing" :)

THANK YOU, and wish you the best too.

 

[WhiteDespair]

embracing and absorbing the darkest elements of my soul into the gestalt was one of the best things I've done.

it developed into being generous to those I like and vicious to those I don't. it's quite liberating.

take it as you will.

 

[g0921]

embracing and absorbing the darkest elements of my soul into the gestalt was one of the best things I've done.

it developed into being generous to those I like and vicious to those I don't. it's quite liberating.

take it as you will.

Thank you for sharing your experience.

I have always been trying to please others, now thinking about that... many of them didnot worth my effort.
I am glad this mindset been working for you.
Hopefully I too can get there someday~~