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A

autisticalex

Student
Oct 27, 2020
124
I was about to hang myself, stood on the chair tying up the rope to the wall.

Unfortunately got scared again. What gives?

Does anyone else have experiences where they keep getting to this point but getting scared?
 
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Jblack

Jblack

Specialist
Oct 8, 2018
314
Getting scared is not unusual. It is actually your SI kicking in to save you. My take on it is when I am truly ready to exit, I will be able to over ride SI. CTB is not as simple as it seems. We are not always ready to exit. Some of us may never CTB. No matter how much we wish to exit life it really is not that simple to do.

For myself, I feel that I will reach a point of relaxation, having come to peace with myself and not being stopped by SI. I don't know when that time will be but I will know when I have reached it.
 
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SmellyRat

SmellyRat

Arcanist
Nov 5, 2018
479
That's the survival instinct kicking in.
Alot of people get insanely drunk because it helps lower inhibitions and fear.
I don't think hanging is a good idea though it's gonna be painful as fuck.
 
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Wrennie

Wrennie

.
Dec 18, 2019
1,546
Being scared is the only reason why I'm still here. I'm sure it's that way for a lot of people. Fear of irreparably damaging myself and being left worse off than I started, and a fear of the abyss. It's soooo frustrating. I'm sorry to hear that you're in the same boat! Hopefully there will one day be an accessible method that is not only peaceful but easy, and will better enable us to overcome our SI.
 
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justpeachy

justpeachy

I’m haunted by the bottle & death on my breath.
Sep 6, 2020
297
That's the survival instinct kicking in.
Alot of people get insanely drunk because it helps lower inhibitions and fear.
I don't think hanging is a good idea though it's gonna be painful as fuck.
Depends entirely on the type. That's not really an accurate statement. In partial hanging where your knees or feet touch the ground there is really no pain. You don't pass out due to not being able go breathe if you do it right. If done right even with suspension you will be passed out within 5-15 seconds as you will have none or very limited amount of blood going to the brain so you just pass out and eventually your brain dies basically from lack of blood flow. Heart will stop generally within 30 min. Even with drop hanging if you do it right and use the right drop length you will likely feel nothing. Hanging done RIGHT***(key word) is actually very possibly painless for the most part.
 
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A

autisticalex

Student
Oct 27, 2020
124
Wow thanks for the advice.

Getting flat out drunk seems like a good idea.

I don't have enough money for drug overdose, so it has to be something cheap

Going to try again in a week or so. Not in the mood right now anymore.

Going to make sure I eat properly and excerise too as I want to be in the right frame of mind to choose suicide (logical choice rather than emotional)
Depends entirely on the type. That's not really an accurate statement. In partial hanging where your knees or feet touch the ground there is really no pain. You don't pass out due to not being able go breathe if you do it right. If done right even with suspension you will be passed out within 5-15 seconds as you will have none or very limited amount of blood going to the brain so you just pass out and eventually your brain dies basically from lack of blood flow. Heart will stop generally within 30 min. Even with drop hanging if you do it right and use the right drop length you will likely feel nothing. Hanging done RIGHT***(key word) is actually very possibly painless for the most part.
Sorry but I'm too stupid to figure this out
 
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I

I screwed up

Waiting for the damn bus
Sep 11, 2019
883
SI is a real bitch... I just can't get over it.. Its the only reason and the fact I m gutless chicken I m still here.
 
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muffin222

muffin222

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2020
1,187
That's normal. People get angry when I say this, but I believe that overwhelming fear that incapacitates you from taking action isn't survival instinct- it's a sign that you're not ready to die yet.

The whole point of suicide is that we actively override our instinct to survive in order to die. If you can't do that, then you're probably not ready to die yet, which is perfectly fine.

When/if your time comes, you will know and the fear alone won't be enough to stop you anymore. Please don't feel pressured to force yourself to do anything prematurely :hug:
 
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C

Chemicalcastration20

Member
Sep 11, 2020
76
Happened to me last night. I tried partial hanging and I felt very dizzy and weird about 3 seconds in. Was a really unpleasant feeling.. Not so. Much painful. That's my 5th time trying that now I'm starting to realise this is probably not going to be my method.. I'm to scared to fully commit to it.
I'm tempted to try to light up 5 disposable BBQs today... Tape all the vents up on my car.. Then bring the BBQs in once they have stopped smoking.
 
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