Discussion Does anyone else’s life not feel like their own?

[BlueButterfly111]

Sometimes it feels like I'm living in a parallel reality, or an alternate universe. My life doesn't feel like mine, it just doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel like my own. It feels like I either don't belong here, or I'm in the wrong lifetime, or I just belong on a different planet, or a different species. This is one reason why I yearn for death, my reality doesn't feel like it belongs to me, it doesn't feel like home.

I've heard that a lot of neurodivergent or mentally ill people feel this way. That's why sites like wrongplanet exist, that's what it feels like, idk how to explain it. Always feel like I'm longing for home, or that I want to go home. I guess you can call it derealization, I just don't feel connected to the environments around me or my family. Not because I'm trying to be an asshole, or I'm trying to feel special, but that's just how I feel.

It's also why I identify with being a starseed, as problematic as that may sound to some people, it resonates with me a lot. Idk if this is also just a part of being depressed or what. Also I feel uncomfortable in my own skin, and dread having to live in this human body, even though I'm still young, I can't imagine doing it for decades.

 

[kufajoy]

Yeah

 

[eyesofadingo]

I've felt similairly, mostly like this life just isn't mine at all. I hope you're doing okay at least somewhat despite it but I do relate

 

[Hollowman]

Yeah, nothing ever seems right.

 

[black_lily]

I've been feeling this a lot lately, especially today. I feel like I'm just floating around. I had the most intense dissociation/derealization I've ever felt today.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

I often feel like I'm looking onto myself from some other life. As if I'm maybe living two lives. The daily one, so f*cked I can't believe it's real, and that it's me actually doing what I do, a suicidal person faking it every day. The other me, when it's just me after work and weekends, feels like the real person struggling to keep things together, while realising how f*cked and empty the irl version of me is.

I think some of it may be trauma related, not accepting what happened or being in denial about where I find myself. Like being stuck, unable or unwilling to deal with reality, making it feel unreal. I hope things will get better for you, and send love your way.

 

[hurb]

The worst thing bout this feeling is although we all share it. Chances are we wouldnt even click. Simply because even tho we are neurodivergent , we are still wired differently. The urge to find people that think similarly to me makes this feeling even worse. Because it feels almost impossible

 

[Pluto]

 

[Arvayn]

I have always perceived myself as an outsider to society, but I do feel fairly in control of myself.