AntiCycleAN
Member
- Jan 15, 2021
- 66
I have such a horrific fear of making decisions, and the consequences that could come from those decisions. As a result, I usually just procrastinate, causing my anxiety to worsen as this inevitable decision gnaws at me constantly, and worsening my already present anhedonia. I have this constant anxiety about this, and can barely do anything without thinking about a decision or decisions I have to eventually make, no matter how close or far away they are.
And even I do make the decision long before the imposed or self-imposed deadline, I just always worry about if I made the right one, and dread the future more. The relief from the ever present dread only exists right after the decision, and dissipates shortly after. On the rare occasion I do make the right decision, I feel good, but this feeling is usually replaced by fear of the next decision. I think I just have no faith in myself, and that no matter my accomplishments or correct decisions, I will always feels empty and worthless. I feel like my entire life will be like this, a miserable existence filled with doubt and uneasiness.
And even I do make the decision long before the imposed or self-imposed deadline, I just always worry about if I made the right one, and dread the future more. The relief from the ever present dread only exists right after the decision, and dissipates shortly after. On the rare occasion I do make the right decision, I feel good, but this feeling is usually replaced by fear of the next decision. I think I just have no faith in myself, and that no matter my accomplishments or correct decisions, I will always feels empty and worthless. I feel like my entire life will be like this, a miserable existence filled with doubt and uneasiness.
