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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
6,917
We have some beef in out self-help group. One borderline woman is self-destructive and attacks her remaining social contacts. She blamed us for literally everything despite we tried the best to help her. At least I tried that. I think she is angry on us because we cannot solve her problems. She even admitted that. But we cannot be a replacement for her family. We sort of fear she is going to kill herself.

Then there is another borderline women who is especially angry on me. I sort of saw through her flirting with men behind the back of her boyfriend. She got the feeling I was judgemental about it. Which is sort of true. There is a super lonely guy in our group and she flirts with him with no serious intentions. But when she dated me (also super desperate) it slipped I am only adventure for her. I felt really bad and sort of apologized today because she was angry with me. But I think she will never forgive me. There is a person who wanted to help us with organizing the group and I was really pleased about that and wanted to invite her to the group. We had an agreement in the group to invite her and I think everything was fine we had a consensus. But now the woman who is angry at me wrote a passive-aggressive e-mail to the woman who wanted to help us. I am pretty angry at her. But I won't do shit. Seemingly, I have to accept it. I don't have the intention to retaliate in any way. Theoretically if I ever met her boyfriend....damn but I would not do that.

From me it is probably bad to share all of that in a suicide forum. And I don't think they are really bad people. There are way worse individuals. I think for some being a bad person is a punishment. But there are some who benefit from being a bad person.

Bad people might end up in legal troubles, in prisons, or have to deal with the consequences of their actions and commit suicide. There are also many innocent people who end up killing themselves though. I am not sure what the ratio is. Sociopaths tend to end up in prisons. Psychopaths can better adapt to the society and might end up becoming CEOs of a big company. But aren't these people lonely? Can they really trust other people if all they do is manipulating others? Can they be honest to any other human being or do they have to hide what defines their personality so that their inner circle is not disgusted by them? Do they feel like shallow human beings disgusted by themselves? Or do they enjoy manipulating others for the sake of their own amusements?

I don't trust many people fully. People can turn at you very easily. I have a few people who I can trust with anything. But especially if something can be used as a weapon against me I don't give too many people access to my weaknesses or secrets.

Some might believe in karma. I dont believe in that. I also don't believe in reincarnation. But I still fear it. Maybe some bad people fear bad karma. But are bad people usually aware they are bad?

I think evil people might never be at peace with themselves. But am I really be at peace with myself? I think I have some bad traits and I self-loath myself for them. But would an actual evil person self-loath themselves for these traits? Maybe good and bad is too much of a black-white scheme.

To sum up it up. I think determinism is in large extents true. Our environment, upbringing and genes make us what we are. Being a bad person does not decrease your life quality per se. But in many cases it backfires. Not all bad people get punished though. Some even benefit from these traits.

What do you think?

Can you even decide yourself whether you want to be good or bad? Many behaviors seem to be pathological and we cannot get rid of them. What to do if you don't like your pathologies? Self-loath yourself until the very end? Accept yourself? Embrace them? But wouldn't this make you a really bad person? And if you already self-loathed yourself, wouldn't that just make your self-loathing way worse? Actually, I struggle with this issue a lot.
 
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otoyikim

otoyikim

Member
Jun 8, 2025
52
It depends on how far a bad person can go probably. Perhaps there could be many people out there who realised what they had become and ended up taking it out on themselves.
 
Pluto

Pluto

Cat Extremist
Dec 27, 2020
6,748
my-toxic-trait-is-telling-my-cat-hes-good-boy-after-hes-been-menace-society-all-day
 
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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
6,917
I have to think about this question a lot recently. For some people it might be a punishment. And some even take pleasure in it. I am also not sure whether the people are self-aware about it.
 
broken_stoic

broken_stoic

Wander till you find your place
Aug 21, 2024
198
On the free will thing - not going to touch that. I'll get on my soap-box, and that is a long and complicated matter.

But I do think people are limited in what they can actually change about their lives. Genetics determines an awful lot, as does where you are born, and who you are born to. What country you live in. What school you were able to go to. On and on.

As far as bad people being punished . . . I agree, I think alot of truly terrible people more or less get away with it. Particularly psychopaths and malignant narcissists. Alot of these people really think they are wonderful and blame everyone else for anything that goes wrong in their lives. Nothing will ever change that for some of them as they go around destroying and damaging other people.

Then some bad people have miserable lives. Some have miserable lives and are aware they aren't great people. Some of those wish they could be better; I feel sorry for those people.

Ultimately I'm not even sure if anyone can really ever "deserve" punishment or not. Whatever the case, many horrible people have fantastic lives and many good people have terrible lives. The world isn't fair, the world isn't just. I wish it were otherwise.
 
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
15,301
I suspect it can be. They are likely very angry people. I imagine the other emotions that trigger them can't be nice too- jealousy, irritation, hatred. It can't be fun to be at odds with people. So, I suspect they do suffer.

Plus, something I imagine likely made them that way. I'd maybe only describe one or two people I've known in life as 'bad'. As in- their 'normal' state was being unpleasant about or towards someone. One in particular, I believe to be a narcissist. They have multiple strong traits. But then- something must have caused that I imagine and, I imagine it wasn't nice. So- there's the whole: 'hurt people hurt'.

Whether they suffer as much as those they victimize though- I'm not so convinced. I think there is a part of them that enjoys hurting others. So- it's not all pain for them. Plus, this world- from what I've seen, actively rewards people like that! I've known people with what I would describe as sociopathic and narcissistic traits in management roles. They could be utterly ruthless. And- the company promoted them! They clearly need one or two axe men/ women to do the dirty work others with a conscience and empathy would struggle with.

But then of course, who is the real bad 'guy' there? They are only ultimately following instructions from people who make sometimes life crushing decisions, but are too spineless to witness the responses.

I think they probably do suffer but, not enough! Not compared to the damage they do. Plus, I think it's harder to feel sympathy for them if they brought it on themselves.

Take (debatably) one of the very worst actions. A father killing his own children. Chris Watts says he's haunted by the last words by his 3 year old as he smothered her. Surely, he deserves to be! Can anything ultimately be enough punishment for killing his pregnant wife and two daughters?
 
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