Venting Do you regret having made it this far?

[_Minsk]

I've tried it for a decade, and I regret it. At this point I think its the best to end it while one still has some quality of life left.

What has been your experience?

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I don't regret having made it this far. I could've done better. I see no future.

 

[9BBN]

I wish I was never born. And once you wish for that, you kind of regret not doing it earlier by default. The only thing I don't regret is the good I've done for other people. I don't know how much longer I can live for other people though.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I regret making it out of the woom.

 

[motel rooms]

I don't know. A couple of months ago I would've said I regretted it. There are still horrible hours in every single day, but I'm not alone anymore.

 

[waitingforrest]

I don't really regret it. Being alive this long has made me come to terms about my death. I am now able to finally make my own choice for once.

 

[Crazy4u]

I regret it and I feel stupid for it. The lack of self awareness is unbelievable

 

[LastFlowers]

Yes. Absolutely. I should have gotten this over with years ago, things have only gotten far worse and more hopeless.

 

[odradek]

I do regret making it this far. I've squandered my best opportunities to ctb these past few years. The work I'll need to do to get back to a position where I can attempt again is daunting. I don't know what to do anymore.

 

[RaccoonTrash]

I don't deserve to have made it this far, I regret not succeeding when I was young, but I have also helped friends achieve better lives and helped some overcome their own suicidal thoughts and find happier lives. While I am fortunate to have known them and find some happiness in the stability and joy I have helped them find, it only fills me with more guilt of how many pillars and support I helped them put in place will be torn down when I am gone.

I regret being alive and being a part of people who are better than me in every way, and only hope when I pass they can remain strong.

 

[little helpers]

not really. I just saw the "is anyone here over 30" thread though. by then I'd fully regret, I think.

 

[TheUncommon]

My birthday's in a few days. I'll be able to purchase a gun.

Absolutely regret not doing it when I first was able many years ago.

 

[sivvie]

Absolutely. I wish I could've done my research better earlier. The longer I stay, the more I suffer. I wish I could've succeeded in my past attempts. I wasted so much money on attempts that failed. I could've been out of here long ago. I wish I never made it to 2022. :/

 

[Zzzzz]

Yes I do regret it. I wish so much that I was never born, had not had such a horrible nightmare of a life.

 

[Snake of Eden]

No i dont regret it. There is nothing to regret when we are forced to instinctively stay alive. Life is as hard as ever but death is coming with my own hands or else

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Yes, of course.

 

[Murasa]

I regret the decisions that led me to this point more than anything else, perhaps I wouldn't have ended up in this deplorable emotional state. Stopping my reckless suicide attempts gave me the opportunity to experience wonderful things, but being stuck in a place that makes me so anxious, nervous, and tired takes its toll. I am exhausted, I regret not using the time that I impose on myself well, because the longer I extend my life span, more drained I'll feel and more pain I'll cause to my friends who are aware of this but cannot do anything.

 

[deflationary]

Yes, everything would have been infinitely simpler if I had done it a decade ago. Lives that didn't end soon enough are kind of an invisible tragedy.

 

[yive]

Yes I do regret it. I wish so much that I was never born, had not had such a horrible nightmare of a life.

this. of course yes

 

[demuic]

Ultimately no, because my hatred of humanity and the world have grown exponentially the longer I have lived, now I know I can CTB and be completely 100% certain of my choice, without any doubts. I know there is nothing here for me on earth and that will never change.

 

[Gsvko]

Yup, the only thing it achieved is more suffering and now I'm leaving with less dignity.

 

[jimmy7754]

Can't stand this anymore

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

I 100% regret of living upto this point. I have been attempting suicide and living in suicidal depression for the last 12 years. These past 12 years were the most horrible years of my existence. Forceful isolation and lonliness,manipulation and severe abuse by family members and hospital authorities amongst health issues due to years of trauma and abuses have literally killed me from inside. I am at this point where Suicide is no longer an option but a very clear necessity. I do wish I succeeded earlier because the events that followed were absolutely unbearable and horrible. Even on a personal level I am not even 10% of the human I used to be. I just hope this time I finally end this dark joke of an existence.

 

[onebigmistake]

I should have caught the bus in 2011. Things were shitty before then, but that's when I became worthless to others.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes. More than anything I wish I never existed in the first place. I think I have suffered enough at this point. I am very tired of living. I have never wanted to be alive. I wish I left a while ago, it would have prevented lots of suffering.

 

[FailureGirl]

Yes I regret trying to stay for so long.
I should have ctb 9 years ago and now I regret it almost every day.

 

[thereisthemist]

In terms of "made it" as in still being alive, I would say no.
My own point to keep on going is how I'm still capable of seeing myself getting worse in all kinds of things, including the courage/commitment to CTB.
I play with my own life now, kinda funny, kinda sad, kinda pointless. I only know if I stopped all this, every literal thing becomes nothing.
Or it's just me being sarcastic and salty, this just my 5 cents.

 

[Morbid Cam]

I personally do regret it because if I would have just died years ago I would have saved myself from so much pain and disappointment because life has not gotten any better despite my efforts to improve it.

 

[Wrennie]

I wish I'd been aborted, personally.

 

[TheHatedOne]

Fucking yes, it only gets worse.