Do you have friends/acquaintances?

[mizuki’s gf(Rin)]

OMG MIZUKI pfp others might consider me their friend/acquaintance but I don't care about them at all. i only love mizuki, i need to die for mizuki so I don't become a disgusting adult

 

[morina]

OMG MIZUKI pfp others might consider me their friend/acquaintance but I don't care about them at all. i only love mizuki, i need to die for mizuki so I don't become a disgusting adult

Yess she's so cute, though sadly I only know her from screenshots and vids someone regularly sends me since I generally want to refrain from playing Gachas. Wish I could be as pretty as her but yeah, that's not possible lol.

Also, I generally don't want to invalidate others's reasons fow wanting to kill themselves, but imo it's usually not worth it for a fictional character, at least my obsessions with fictional characters usually didn't last that long. Though like I said, if you just phrased it like that and still have other problems, I don't want to invalidate you.

And I don't wanna be "actually nerd-emoji", but you saying you don't want to become a disgusting adult seems like you are pretty young, but this forum here is intended for 18+ only.

 

[jisatsu chan]

i have one amazing friend in real life (who is moving away soon, one more reason to die lol) who would definitely be there for me if i told her about how i'm feeling, but i know she's doing pretty great right now and i don't wanna mess that up. i have like 2 online friends in that awkward stage where ur transitioning between "i perceive you as a cool person online and dm u often" to "we're actually becoming actual real friends". that's about it. i definitely wish i had more real friends

 

[Jx708]

I have some friends but recently I can't seem to bring myself to talk to anyone, its just so easy to push everyone away.
I was able to talk to my best friend about how I was feeling, but they said they didn't want to hear me be negative... So even with people around it feels like no ones there anyway~

 

[yearned]

i have one friend that still talks to me, and one friend who is an ex who still checks up on me. the first one hasnt been able to check up on me physically in a while but i dont think its that personal. the second one is someone i love very much but that i have hurt a lot. i have acquaintances around, i can go have superficial discussions with them whenever but they dont check up on me themselves. my parents still talk to me sometimes, but talking to them can be painful because of the memories it brings back. i think they're good people. i miss having friends who would check up on me, i miss having friends showing up to my place unannounced, i miss being in the know, in an ingroup. im lucky i got to experience how that felt.

 

[dhk96]

No. I'm too anxious and dumb to hold a meaningful conversation. It takes me forever to think about what to say and I can't think of the words I want to say at the right time, or at any given time. I've forgotten things from simple vocabulary to core memories because I don't get much practice talking, writing, reading, or thinking (critically and beyond basic necessity) anymore. Not that I have the energy for any of that.

My incompetency and self-loathing have led me to feel too disgusted with myself to imagine having friends or forming anything beyond a highly superficial (and platonic) relationship with anyone. I used to be able to pretend to make friends. Then I got tired of pretending, only to eventually lose the ability to pretend at all.

This trash brain and body aren't worthy of having friends but what do I do when even death won't accept me as I am? I need to be physically sick or old to meet its standards, and I don't want to wait until I'm both or worse.