Venting Do you ever think about your own funeral?

[inkmage333]

Does anyone else here think about their own funeral? I've thought about it quite a lot, honestly. I mostly fantasize about how I'll lay in my casket, looking as pretty as the cosmetician could make my dead body look (I do want it to be open-casket) while everyone mourns how such a young soul could be taken too soon by mental illness.

I'm not really sure whether my friends would be there or not, or whether it'd just be a bunch of people from the church community my parents know about because I don't know whether my funeral would even be held near where I live, or whether my parents will have me buried in the cemetary that's very far away from home since basically every single person in our church community that died has been buried there for some reason. I'd like to think my friends would make the +1 hour-long journey to that cemetary, but then comes the problem of my parents knowing how to contact them, since they don't have their phone numbers.

Either way, I also think about the photos my family would choose for my funeral, where I look presentable in all of them. I think it'd make people sadder, because how can someone so young and pretty lose their life like this? I like that thought. I think I want people to be sad for me, to feel sorry for me.

And when my obituary is posted, with my photo, I like to think there'd be people once in my life searching up my name only to stumble upon the obituary. When they find out how I died, I like to think they'd think "what have I done? How could I leave [inkmage333's name] the way I did? Now they're dead and it's probably because I failed them!" That's the greatest part of all! Knowing they WILL think that because they all kept spewing bullshit like "I hope you become a better person and heal without me" as they left!

Anyways, does anyone else think about the way their own funeral would play out?

 

[Arvayn]

I'm studying thanatology, so it's been my job to learn about and understand funerals. It only makes sense I'd think about it at least once or twice.

I want to be left to rot, preferably for everyone to look at and see; to see the ugly truth of life and death. I do not want people to be sad for my death; I want them to be horrified of it, to experience some kind of reckoning through confrontation with the hideousness of my corpse. Of course, I know that that's not an option... my plan B is to be cremated and to be buried in a grave that is marked, and yet has nothing written on it. For from dust we came, and to dust we shall return.

 

[amor.dor]

To me, death is a state of total absence. So when I die, I wish only to be buried — without a funeral.

My family, which has always lived in conflict among itself, should not hold a service for me. I do not want my death to be used as an occasion for playing the victim or for weeping over their own pains. In life, people are rarely truly grateful for what others have given them. It is only in loss that they feel the weight of absence.

To me, the worms and plants that will feed on my flesh seem more grateful. Therefore, it is preferable that I simply be buried.

 

[dead dav]

Simple unattended cremation ashes put in the bin

 

[cakedog]

I don't want to have a funeral, specially with an open casket
thought about going with a gruesome method to leave my face disfigured and force my family to leave the lid closed but i don't have access to any
it's going to suck being surrounded and buried by people you don't want to and hate how my brother is going to be forced to attend it but maybe he'll get a day off so it's probably a positive

 

[kuroshimi]

Actually never thought about it.

It would be ideal to simply vanish, but unfortunately it's impossible. Despite this, idea of wanting people to be sad and feel sorry seems interesting?

Although, I still think that death is state of total nonexistence, so I not really into it.

 

[Unlucky777]

No. I don't want a funeral. Just burn my god damn body ASAP and send me away.

 

[soontobecorpse]

Does anyone else here think about their own funeral? I've thought about it quite a lot, honestly. I mostly fantasize about how I'll lay in my casket, looking as pretty as the cosmetician could make my dead body look (I do want it to be open-casket) while everyone mourns how such a young soul could be taken too soon by mental illness.

I'm not really sure whether my friends would be there or not, or whether it'd just be a bunch of people from the church community my parents know about because I don't know whether my funeral would even be held near where I live, or whether my parents will have me buried in the cemetary that's very far away from home since basically every single person in our church community that died has been buried there for some reason. I'd like to think my friends would make the +1 hour-long journey to that cemetary, but then comes the problem of my parents knowing how to contact them, since they don't have their phone numbers.

Either way, I also think about the photos my family would choose for my funeral, where I look presentable in all of them. I think it'd make people sadder, because how can someone so young and pretty lose their life like this? I like that thought. I think I want people to be sad for me, to feel sorry for me.

And when my obituary is posted, with my photo, I like to think there'd be people once in my life searching up my name only to stumble upon the obituary. When they find out how I died, I like to think they'd think "what have I done? How could I leave [inkmage333's name] the way I did? Now they're dead and it's probably because I failed them!" That's the greatest part of all! Knowing they WILL think that because they all kept spewing bullshit like "I hope you become a better person and heal without me" as they left!

Anyways, does anyone else think about the way their own funeral would play out?

i probably think about my own funeral way too often. I worry about my family picking lame music so I hope my friends handle that lol. i always wonder who would pretend they knew me or cared about me.

 

[BillyBob]

I do not want a funeral at all.
So what I have done is save up enough for my cremation instead.
Told my parents that I have money for my own cremation for when I die so they do not have to cover the costs. (Lets just say this did not go down well, my parents got really upset of just the thought of it. But managed to settle them down.)

Also have picked out a few songs for a Funeral if they decide to go that route. Have what I want done written in a note put on a USB with all the songs included and extras that need to be there for when I CTB.

 

[Exhausted546]

The idea of having a funeral puts me off fr. I hate that people will know I died from suicide, feels like I've let people that didn't like me win

 

[ceelobling]

Sometimes I think about it but I don't care if there is a funeral. I just want to be dead, I don't care what happens after. I imagine everybody being sad during the funeral but I if I could see their reaction after death, I wouldn't feel anything. It was about me getting peace, I don't care how sad their faces would be. I do not care about anything anymore.

 

[Carryline]

Yes i do npt want any

 

[eternalpace]

I don't think about it… My father was cremated and I have a feeling the same thing will be done with me. I have no preference… The important thing is finally getting past this annoying thing called life.

 

[Wishingforadream]

I don't like the idea of a funeral, it feels awkward.
I don't want to be surrounded, just left alone in peace.

it doesn't feel like sending someone away, i can't describe it's just odd.

 

[fadedghost]

no

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I'll be cremated ashes in an urn at a Catholic funeral. For the sake of my family I made arrangements and have notes for them where they can easily find them. In my notes I mentioned I doubt anyone will come. Maybe just a few. I imagine a quiet small funeral, awkward and disappointing for anyone who might show up.

 

[NotSoEnchanted]

A while back I was obsessed with having my funeral MY way. I seethed at the idea of my Christian family members making it religious, even just saying a single prayer. However I've come to realize my Funeral isn't for me, it's for those who are left behind. If saying a prayer gives them closure and helps them better cope and come to terms with my death, then so be it. I want them to do what's best for them and their healing journey. My only worry is my beloved sister being upset by this, as she knows my heart and knows how much being indoctrinated into the faith hurt me as a child. I do hope I'm cremated, and my remains are scattered in nature. I would prefer to not be a mantle piece in a box, but if it helps people cope it's alright I guess. I grew up with my Dad in a box in our dining room, and instead of comfort, I felt haunted by it. I hope my family chooses to set me free and not have that visual memory of my choice to leave this earth.

 

[BlendedHeart]

Throw me in the grave like Homer Simpson and that's it.

 

[Black Sheep One]

Cremate the body. Place the ashes in a brown, one gallon jug. Dig a hole somewhere about 6 to 8 feet. Place jug in hole and burry it. In about 50 years, no one will know where it is. Gone and forgotten about.

 

[sanctionedusage]

ive already told my family i want a green burial, no fucking formaldehyde and other junk pumped into me or people poking around my body to doll me up on a cold steel table. no service either. religion is grotesque and there's no one i'd want there anyway.

 

[asgoodasdead]

Does anyone else here think about their own funeral? I've thought about it quite a lot, honestly. I mostly fantasize about how I'll lay in my casket, looking as pretty as the cosmetician could make my dead body look (I do want it to be open-casket) while everyone mourns how such a young soul could be taken too soon by mental illness.

I'm not really sure whether my friends would be there or not, or whether it'd just be a bunch of people from the church community my parents know about because I don't know whether my funeral would even be held near where I live, or whether my parents will have me buried in the cemetary that's very far away from home since basically every single person in our church community that died has been buried there for some reason. I'd like to think my friends would make the +1 hour-long journey to that cemetary, but then comes the problem of my parents knowing how to contact them, since they don't have their phone numbers.

Either way, I also think about the photos my family would choose for my funeral, where I look presentable in all of them. I think it'd make people sadder, because how can someone so young and pretty lose their life like this? I like that thought. I think I want people to be sad for me, to feel sorry for me.

And when my obituary is posted, with my photo, I like to think there'd be people once in my life searching up my name only to stumble upon the obituary. When they find out how I died, I like to think they'd think "what have I done? How could I leave [inkmage333's name] the way I did? Now they're dead and it's probably because I failed them!" That's the greatest part of all! Knowing they WILL think that because they all kept spewing bullshit like "I hope you become a better person and heal without me" as they left!

Anyways, does anyone else think about the way their own funeral would play out?

I'd definitely not want a funeral service (awkward, also me nor my family actually has the funds to do so). I would much rather be cremated with my ashes thrown somewhere or a natural burial. The least I could do is use my body to help the environment.

 

[tzon]

As some othesr also have mentioned, I wouldn't want a funeral. Just get it over it by just shoving me in an oven and incinerate me if I one day CTB. That's all. Flush the ashes down the toilet for all I care.

I'm thinking about my closest ones though - and to be honest, one of the reasons I'm hesitant is because of my youngest sister who reminds me of myself so much. I feel like I need to protect her. We're fully blood related but there's a big age gap between us (20 years). She's at a vulnerable age - I hope she is not hiding anything painful inside, like I did back when I was 22. And well, I still do. I do not want to burden my younger sisters. I don't really know what my parents have told my sister about me. Yet - I haven't told my parents the full story either. Sharing deep feelings is hard.

 

[darksouls2kicksass]

I hope I don't have one. The only people who would go are a few family members out of obligation. I don't have any friends. I don't want to be remembered. Thankfully, by the time it happens, I'll be fucking dead so it won't really matter

 

[inkmage333]

I'm not really sure whether my friends would be there or not, or whether it'd just be a bunch of people from the church community my parents know about because I don't know whether my funeral would even be held near where I live, or whether my parents will have me buried in the cemetary that's very far away from home since basically every single person in our church community that died has been buried there for some reason. I'd like to think my friends would make the +1 hour-long journey to that cemetary, but then comes the problem of my parents knowing how to contact them, since they don't have their phone numbers.

Thought about this again and decided that getting buried might...kind of suck actually? Idk something about being 6 feet under in a place that will likely be inaccessible to my family (far away) doesn't sit right with me. I think maybe...maybe cremation is a better option. At least if I'm cremated they'll get to keep my ashes, so I'll always be with them (and haunting them). Maybe spread a few into the ocean? But the majority should stay with them.

Was also reading that thread by a mortician about how bodies will be extremely messy when they find them...yeesh...yeah maybe it's for the best I get cremated, spare my family from having to see how messy my remains are especially since even SN will leave me very grey and discolored...

 

[BillyBob]

Thought about this again and decided that getting buried might...kind of suck actually? Idk something about being 6 feet under in a place that will likely be inaccessible to my family (far away) doesn't sit right with me. I think maybe...maybe cremation is a better option. At least if I'm cremated they'll get to keep my ashes, so I'll always be with them (and haunting them). Maybe spread a few into the ocean? But the majority should stay with them.

Was also reading that thread by a mortician about how bodies will be extremely messy when they find them...yeesh...yeah maybe it's for the best I get cremated, spare my family from having to see how messy my remains are especially since even SN will leave me very grey and discolored...

Cremation seems easier and it is alot cheaper in the end for the family.
Another thing to remember is in most suicides the person will have an autopsy done on them so depending that can take awhile to get done.
And yeah if the suicide method is nasty then cremation would be the only real option left. Then again they could always have a closed casket at a funeral but I am unsure how that would work.

 

[ForeverSubhuman]

I think of how I won't have one