Discussion Do you believe that getting away from your toxic household would make you want to live again?

[wishmaster9]

I've been living alone for around a decade, have completely lost my will to live when I was 14, I'm 29 now and still didn't feel it again.
It can definitely help with your personal growth and development as an adult, but it usually brings up other issues such as paying the bills without getting into debt.
Idk if by 'school' you mean highschool or college/uni, but regardless I'd recommend you at least give it a try when it will be possible for you.

 

[LonelyPrince]

I feel like if I move out I'll defintely feel less oppressed and more free. However, it won't cure me.

 

[SarahThrowsGin]

I moved out (for the kind of control freaks I'm dealing with, though, true escape would entail breaking all contact), but can still relate to the topic. Though my take on it is unfortunately rather fatalistic. It would take to both escape the household and move to another country as well, and much earlier in time. It won't help today anymore, and depending on where I would have to survive the pandemic (on how far social distancing goes), it might have still not been enough. Social distancing was a game-ender for me, it resulted in social isolation that can't be beaten for an autistic person who already sucks at making connections. I am pretty sure any country that implements stay-at-home policy would still doomed me all the same.

So I guess, I may just not be fit to survive in modern times? It does not seem there was ever good times, though. What I can't quite get is that some other autistic people manage success. I guess something broke early in my life, in pre-school years. Back then I was neglected by my grandmother, then I was helicoptered into oblivion by my mother who was forced into retirement by the fact that grandmother didn't do shit despite literally spending home all day (talking to her peers of age on the landline phone). By teenage years, I was already doomed to loneliness and being an outcast, and this never changed. It seems the cards I was dealt are just too unlucky for small corrections to save my life.

 

[twin size mattress]

To some extent being away from them would definitely help. But for some reason the idea of even having to tell them im moving out stresses me out. I'd still have depression obviously but it'd probably be easier to deal with if i had a place that felt like a home.

 

[peaceingreen]

I've thought about this a lot as one of my primary problems is dealing with the toxic relationship I've been in for many years. A lot would be alleviated by being on my own, but I know that the pain of being alone, and leaving the relationship and life Ive built with so much time behind me will be just as bad. I feel like I cant live with it and can't live without, so in a lot of ways I feel like that only leaves one option.

 

[misterhippo]

For some people moving out of a toxic household it might help a lot, but if I move out, it won't improve my situation a lot. My parents are indeed toxic, unloving, cold, uncompassionate and uncomforting parents. Leaving them will ease my situation a bit, but still my chronic pain, depression and autism will follow me even if I move.

Same

 

[violetforever]

From a young age, I considered suicide as a possible way out of here, but there was always this little bit of hope that life could get better if I didn't have to live with my parents anymore.
I'm scared that it won't be that way, that even if I live on my own life is still shit... then I would have no reason to stay anymore.

u are literally me. i want to believe i'll be happy away from my family but even if that ends up not being true, ctb is always there.

 

[Ghostlights]

u are literally me. i want to believe i'll be happy away from my family but even if that ends up not being true, ctb is always there.

Yeah, the problem is that it takes a lot of time... when I move out, I'll try the basic "recipe" for being happy. This means that I'll try to achieve all the things that the happy people around me already have and probably had for all or most of their life. Of course, I won't be able to have a loving, supportive family, but getting away from them would be a huge step. The next few steps would be to try and find some friends and some hobbies (besides playing guitar alone in my bedroom).
I know there still is the possibility that this recipe fails to work for me, but I'll give it a try. I set myself a limit of reaching that goal before I turn 30, so I have about ten and a half years...

 

[Campanella]

I thought it would, but now I feel more hopeless after getting out and seeing first hand it won't. Even the great things that I've always wanted, getting them freely for the first time hurts so much, "Why couldn't this come earlier?" then the fact I no longer have it in me to even want or appreciate these things. I wish I died sooner. I wish I died before going through this. I wish I died in a noble way, if I died as a hungry and bloodied child or teen while being abused instead of defending myself at least someone would have been punished and I wouldn't have to feel this way. Everyone would have understood if I killed myself then, too, now it's all so pitiful and confusing.
No, it doesn't help at all. It hurts so much more, I wish I never got out, my will is so much weaker after; I'm no longer hateful but I have no hope speak of either. Everything's much more painful and now I have no way to explain to others why. "I have it easy now", and God I know there's no better world or help out there now.
Does anyone else understand? The pain of getting out there and learning the "better world" doesn't have anything for you either? I wish I remained pure and never knew.