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DiscussionDo people in your life know that you use this forum?
Thread starterpunyama
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If they do, what are their feelings about it? I'm wondering if it's a huge alarm bell to mention to anyone that I started to use a forum like this, even though honestly I've found more resources and support here than from any mental health professional.
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Lost in a Dream, Lamentice, ZwartHartje and 9 others
one person irl one person on discord that i trust the most but they think im "recovered". they do not know my account or anything and i dont think they will ever go on this site.
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EternalShore, Lamentice, Aflame5926 and 2 others
I would never tell anyone irl that I use this forum. I've told a few close online friends and my ex before. Most of them were very concerned and thought this forum would worsen my suicidal thoughts and be the opposite of help to me and would beg me to stop using it. I don't think this forum has ever made me feel more suicidal, infact it's only ever made me feel better and postpone suicide.
Completely off topic but I like your pfp, I'm also a one piece fan and law is one of my favourite characters. :)
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Set Real Goul, Cherry Crumpet, Lost in a Dream and 5 others
thanks haha, one piece is my hyper fixation and law is my favorite character of all time. one of the few things that still makes me happy these days :,)
edit: just noticed yours is perona I love perona too !! so cute.
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Set Real Goul, Aflame5926 and bl33ding_heart
My spouse knows that I'm on here regularly. But he also deals with depression and works in mental health, so I know he understands it more than lay-people. We're also both very "pro autonomy" in that everyone should have agency over their own life, decisions, end of life, etc.
Some of my friends would get it, some wouldn't. Sometimes I wish my bio family knew so they understood the extent of my mental health and inner world, but honestly I don't think they'd learn anything unless I do decide to CTB one day…
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Set Real Goul, Lost in a Dream, Aflame5926 and 1 other person
My brother knows but he thinks I'm not on it anymore. My roommate is too much of typical American guy to care and calls suicide stupid and people cowards so I don't tell him anything.
Fortunately (or unfortunately?), I have too few people who could find out about this. Only close relatives and one buddy. But I hope they don't find out, and I especially hope they don't find out which account I'm using here. They just wouldn't understand
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Set Real Goul, punyama and blue-moon-miki
Only one friend of mine, and only because I know she won't tell anyone. The most she'll ever do about it if she sees me using it is take my phone, put it down and tell me to stop with a grin that I can tell is hiding worry. Other than that, no one. Not safe for anyone else to know.
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Set Real Goul, punyama and blue-moon-miki
There are hardly any people in my life to begin with. But there's one local friend who knows, she knows the reason and has been affected by the same reason - the mass murder of my nutria family, whom she loved very much too. I even once gave her a link to this forum because she had once mentioned before that she has still saved some strong old (morphine type?) drugs in case she should eventually decide to CTB too, and I found the thread here with a table explaining what insane amounts it would take and that it's unlikely to succeed, so I was concerned and gave her the link to that. I don't think she'll join though, she's doing her own things mostly, and we haven't talked about this again so far.
No, and I feel kind of guilty for keeping it a secret. In my outside life, I look like I'm living normally and happily. Even to my closest friends and girlfriend, they know that I'm struggling with depression and suicidal ideation, but they don't know just how messed up the inside of my mind is and how intense those thoughts get. I want to tell them about my account here because I feel really bad hiding it from them, but I'm scared of how they would react. My best friend/roommate also has depression and experiences suicidal thoughts, but I don't know. I don't know if they'd think this forum is too much or that it's some kind of self-harm/unhealthy coping mechanism. I already feel like I'm too much of a burden on them. I also don't want to introduce them to something that could potentially be harmful for them (this forum has been really helpful to me, but I don't think it's safe to assume it's like that for every suicidal person). As for my girlfriend, she deals with mental illness but not depression/suicidal ideation. She always says that I can talk to her, but the few times I've been brutally honest about my thoughts, she's cried a lot and been very upset by it. I don't want to make her upset or super worried about me, and I don't want to tell her the name of this site because if she goes on it I think she'll see a lot of things she can't handle. I'm just scared that no one will understand why I chose to go/stay on here. I don't know if I want to tell my therapist either.
Reactions:
Set Real Goul and punyama
Lamentice
Walk without rhythm and you won't attract the worm
I wish i could tell someone i know irl that understands that its my own decision but i cant because they would obviously be concerned and may tell someone lol
They don't but sometimes I want to tell them about it and defend this site, as well as my beliefs about the right to die but most of the people in my life (especially family members) are too stupid to understand where I'm coming from so why bother? Some days I feel like they're just braindead NPCs who don't understand anything.
I would never tell anyone irl that I use this forum. There would be no point to telling them. The negatives would far outweigh the positives. It would alarm them and make them think I was suicidal (which I'm not currently.) It would make them think I was having mental issues. They would think about it every time they saw me or talked to me. I can't think of a single benefit of telling someone I"m on this forum. It would shock every single person I knew if they found out I was on SaSu. I prefer to keep this piece of information private.
No, and I'm stuck in a state of deciding whether I want to let the information out in my journal or not at all. It has become a part of my life, something I access on a daily basis, but I don't want people knowing I'm using it at least until after I die, and no matter how private a journal it can always be leaked. I just hope no one will blame this website for my death instead of the perpetual suicidal ideation I have, which is a byproduct of my own mind, not this site. If anything, I think this website (along with other things in my life, of course) has kept suicide off. I'm not generally an impulsive individual, but I can't say with certainty that I wouldn't have ended up impulsively taking my life or ending up in a psych ward (which probably would've just led to a negative spiral, with how my mental state was at the time I first considered suicide, and would've nevertheless ended up with an even more constant and stronger desire to end my life).
Reactions:
Set Real Goul, violetforever and punyama
If they do, what are their feelings about it? I'm wondering if it's a huge alarm bell to mention to anyone that I started to use a forum like this, even though honestly I've found more resources and support here than from any mental health professional.
I think my loved ones would panic. They already worry about me and I think knowing I was here would send them into a frenzy. There's nothing I hate more than being pitied and worried about so no, I won't be telling then
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