• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block. If you're located in the UK, we recommend using a VPN to maintain access.

Clowndollie

Clowndollie

Focused on healing 💭
Apr 14, 2024
108
I feel that if I was properly loved, my life would be much better. If I actually had friends who also paid interest in me and who wanted to hang out with me, that I'd feel beter. If I didn't have autism and borderline, that I would have a better shot at life. But sadly it isn't like that for me. I've tried dating apps and I do get a lot of swipes, but actually connecting with the other person is so hard. Nowadays nobody seems to care about others feelings and I get or fully ignored, or they talk to me so dryly that I can't keep the conversation going. Why are you even on a dating app if you're not looking to genuinely date people? It's so confusing to me. Same goes for friendships, I put a lot of effort into them and I never receive the same effort back. I am always the one to ask to hangout and I have like three friends. Making new friends is extremely hard because people also just ignore me or nearly don't even engage in a conversation with me. I wish I was loved, liked and appreciated for once, I wish I had things to do with people my age, I wish I was in a happy romantic relationship, I wish I wasn't mentally ill. I'm so mentally ill that it affects me every day. I just wish I was normal.
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: Forever Sleep and N33dT0D13
N33dT0D13

N33dT0D13

Xe/It
Apr 2, 2023
365
I also have autism and likely borderline given my therapist mentioning my borderline traits... I do have people that care, that love me... I hate that I still want more. I hate myself for feeling so greedy for affection and validation.
 

Similar threads

D
Replies
0
Views
56
Suicide Discussion
Depressed&Stressed
D
SomewhatLoved
Replies
15
Views
399
Suicide Discussion
Rynalia
Rynalia
N
Replies
6
Views
467
Suicide Discussion
enjoytheride
E
synthcadia
Replies
1
Views
154
Suicide Discussion
Ch4in3dcr0w
Ch4in3dcr0w
nooneyouknow
Replies
2
Views
99
Suicide Discussion
nooneyouknow
nooneyouknow