Story Do I have any hope?

[My Song Your Note]

Hi all,
so, for starters, I don't think theres any hope for me. But maybe you guys have a better perspective.
I ruined my life. I still don't know why, maybe to prove a point, maybe for some monetary gain, or something, but I ruined my life and heres how.

Back in feburary of this year, I robbed my work. It was on valentines day. I was a closer that night, and after everyone went home, I stayed out for the night. I went to a park, and impulsively decided "fuck it, lemme go rob my place of work." Maybe it was to prove a point of safety? I had been working there for over a year and a half, and it was also my first job. I had turned 18 just a month before. To my knowledge, the place had no working cameras, but apparently there was one. It was in the main office, and only took still photos when motion was detected. It techincally doesn't show my face, but it shows the exact hoodie I was wearing just hours before while working.

Again, I don't know why I did it. I was extremely happy that day, maybe that was it?

It was for around 700 bucks. Litteraly nothing. My paychecks are more than that.

I am currently facing the following charges:
1x B&E 3rd degree, non-residential commerical
2xB&E 2nd degree, safe, lockbox
1x criminal mischief, 5-25k damages
1x theft, 500-5000 dollars

This is in Colorado, US.

This would be my first criminal record ever. I would very likely be facing 1-5 years in jail.
I had a life ahead of me. I had just started my last semester of HS, and although I still graduated, that doesn't mean I have a good life ahead of me.
I wanted to be a pilot, a airline pilot.
I had plans to go to college. To be somebody. But that seems so bleak now. I've been rejected from over 12 jobs due to a background check, one with a 100k+ salary.
If convicted, I don't have a life. I lose my family connections. My friends. My housing. Everything. I will be living on the streets, probably get addicted to drugs, alcohol, etc...

Is there any hope?
I fucked up my own life.

 

[literallynoone]

Fuck man I don't know what to tell you. I know a few people from family or friends who did stupid shit like this and pulled through to have a good life. Doubt that gives you much hope but it's not like you're a bad person yknow? My mom has a friend who's ex husband did almost every thing in the book he could over here. Car jacking, drug selling was in a gang, The whole thing. But he pulled through and ended up fine, And he is an actual bad person. You're just some 18 year old moron who did something profoundly stupid.
I don't know how bad it is to have this on your criminal record. I'm not American. But I cannot imagine it's that over. You're still a good guy at the end of the day.

 

[My Song Your Note]

But I cannot imagine it's that over. You're still a good guy at the end of the day.

I wish to believe that too, but its really hard to. So far my family doesn't know the truth yet, they think i'm innocent. hell, its a REALLY bad decision but i'm telling my lawyer that aswell, in a hope that he can fight harder. but ik its a hard fight.

but in the US, there isn't a life outside of jail. They don't set you up for success. I don't see much hope left.

I want to be a good person, i try my hardest, but i've now internalized this to the point of total self destruction. I don't know who I am anymore

 

[literallynoone]

REALLY bad decision but i'm telling my lawyer that aswell, in a hope that he can fight harder. but ik its a hard fight.

Fuck man. Fuck. I mean if the cops know lying is literally the worst thing to do in this case I think. Don't know how I'd undo it but fuck. I mean, I don't know man.
If it was like 700 bucks couldnt you have just admited and took a plea deal or smth? Fuck I really wish I could give you any advice but I really don't know.

You're a good person so that's a good baseline but I really don't know what I'd do in your situation.
Just don't think of suicide. I know you didn't mention it but we are on SaSu so I assume it at least crossed your mind.
I don't know how but you'll get through it. If you need support just dm me.

 

[My Song Your Note]

Just don't think of suicide. I know you didn't mention it but we are on SaSu so I assume it at least crossed your mind.

Heh, yea. I've attempted a couple times over the last 2 weeks. Before then, I last attempted 2 years ago. Lifes hard. I just don't want to make my parent's life harder. I've put them through so much financial stress over my life, and this is just exemplifying it.
It seems like the only rational option for me.

 

[literallynoone]

Heh, yea. I've attempted a couple times over the last 2 weeks. Before then, I last attempted 2 years ago. Lifes hard. I just don't want to make my parent's life harder. I've put them through so much financial stress over my life, and this is just exemplifying it.
It seems like the only rational option for me.

I get the feeling but just think about other options. You got plans, dreams. This is not as life ending as you think it is. I can't advise you on what to do because I really don't know but I can answer the question from the thread title. Yes you have hope even if you can't see it right now.