Did you ever think about how the driver would have felt

[mordumfan]

I lost all hope to live when my counsellor said this to me, essentially I toled her about my plan to kill myself by laying on train tracks. She asked me "did you ever consider how the driver would feel?" And I responded saying I didn't really care, because no I don't at all. In my last moments I will be an inconvenience to those around me, and no I don't feel sorry about it.

 

[Passenger4224]

Train drivers probably don't give a fuck. If anything they'll be annoyed by the inconvenience.

 

[Hollowman]

Depends on the driver, they could be a psychopath incapable of giving a shit.

 

[otomedissection]

Damn, I hate when people say things like that. It's not as helpful as they seem to think it is. I live in constant fear of conflict and burdening others, so words like those always feel weaponized. I feel like I got to where I am now by being overly empathetic, so yeah it'd feel nice to blow my shit clean off and not feel bad about it.

 

[melon-melancholy]

Train drivers probably don't give a fuck. If anything they'll be annoyed by the inconvenience.

I don't think that's true train drivers struggle with ptsd after seeing people run over. I wouldn't want to do that to someone. Here is an article explaining someone's experience:

The Trauma of the Train Operator

MTA veteran recounts the shock of finding graffiti artists’ bodies.

www.nycitynewsservice.com

 

[KatalinaKrimson]

Yeah, this whole argument sounds really dumb. We already know that our deaths are going to hurt and traumatize people.

Like, most of us have family, friends, or even children. As well as those of us who are LGBT or some other minority group are leaving behind youths who we could have spent our lives working to protect.

We've all thought about how our death will effect people we care about. It's just not enough to unweigh or somehow nullify all the pain of going forward with our lives. So why would the pain of a train driver be the deciding factor when that person's pain wouldn't even amount to the pain of the people I listed above.

 

[name2come]

I mean, there are impacts of our death that we have no control over, but assigning a random stranger the role of executioner very much is something we have control over. Harming people because a method involves a vehicular accident is something we have control over. If you don't care about the pain and suffering you leave in your wake, that's ultimately up to you but it does speak to the life you led while you were here. It suggest a mindset that looks at strangers like they are NPCs who don't matter and not people going through their own lives.

I'm sympathetic that these kinds of choices often come out of desperation, but if you sit and consider these impacts and decide to hurt people anyway, that's a harder thing for me to feel much empathy towards. There are alternatives that don't carry as much risk of harm to others. At a minimum, yes, you will need to accept that people will judge you for your actions. There is a lot of unfair judgment surrounding this topic, but this is an instance that is actually quite fair to judge someone.

Even if the impact on others won't persuade you, its not a fool-proof as people hope. Lots of people survive laying down on tracks, but most of them have to live with the consequences for a very long time. You risk serious injury including multiple amputations. If you do hurt people in your attempt, there will be legal repercussions that could leave you imprisoned for decades. Rail suicide has a high fatality rate, but still 10-30% survive the collision. That could mean a 1 in 4 chance you live. Maybe with brain damage. Maybe without your legs. Maybe having to face a train driver you tried to make into a killer.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I think what's gotten lost here is that you say you lost all hope to live when you told her you had a plan and she didn't seem to care at all (just like you wouldn't care about the train driver at all).

Your hope to live or lack thereof can't be based on what your therapist does or doesn't say, but perhaps you'd like to find a more caring counselor, or at least one who seems more invested in your recovery.

 

[DignifiedGrave]

Damn, I hate when people say things like that. It's not as helpful as they seem to think it is. I live in constant fear of conflict and burdening others, so words like those always feel weaponized. I feel like I got to where I am now by being overly empathetic, so yeah it'd feel nice to blow my shit clean off and not feel bad about it.

I think they are weaponized. Its a totally moral position and the only right answer is the one that is pushed as being the "morally grounded" answer ie i do care. But it also just doesnt do anything other than foment shame in the person who wants to attempt and ostracize them. Again, its entirely moralized question that has very little if nothing to do with being suicidal, and so neither can the question bare a practical outcome in attempting to understand why a person ia suicidal or prolong their life for recovery purposes.