Venting Diary of a Lonely Man

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

This is an old stream of consciousness thing I wrote many years ago. It was after I left the psych ward. I haven't read it in so long and I'm afraid it would trigger old wounds, but I'm letting it here for you to peruse. Enjoy:

https://commaful.com/play/mhfiver/diary-of-a-lonely-man---part-1/
WARNING: There's a lot of NSFW stuff in there. If you're not comfortable with that please do not read.

I'll be glad to hear out what you think about it, though.

 

[CatLvr]

I'm just tagging to come back later when I'm not actively trying to die, so I can read your posts. That, and Harvey the Tuxedo Cat is laying in the middle of me, wanting petting. And who am I to deny Harvey his wants and needs??

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

I'm just tagging to come back later when I'm not actively trying to die, so I can read your posts. That, and Harvey the Tuxedo Cat is laying in the middle of me, wanting petting. And who am I to deny Harvey his wants and needs??

Hahah. thanks for your interest. I hope my thoughts don't traumatize you further.

 

[psp3000]

the animal part made me think of the time that I watched The Lobster

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

the animal part made me think of the time that I watched The Lobster

Ah yeah, probably a lot of "I wanna be an animal" stuff. Still kinda want to.

 

[AdultVirgin]

How long were you in the psych ward?

They had me in there for 6 months

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

How long were you in the psych ward?

They had me in there for 6 months

21 days, not much, but it absolutely wrecked my psyche.

 

[psp3000]

Ah yeah, probably a lot of "I wanna be an animal" stuff. Still kinda want to.

I don't blame you

bear life seems okay/good

Spoiler: tw: one bear in this On Sight edit gets tranquilized

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

I don't blame you

bear life seems okay/good

Spoiler: tw: one bear in this On Sight edit gets tranquilized

I've thought about becomig a bear, a fox, a wolf...probably because their lives aren't wrecked with mental pain like ours.

I would love to be a big fluffy tame bear and let people hug me for support.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

Oh god, I just started to read part of it and...I was so much worse back then. The cringe is palpable.

I just can't read it back without getting really sick at myself for some things.

For comparison, I've wrote that like 8 years ago. I was...god, I didn't think I would say that, but I'm much more mentally stable nowadays. I still have problems but it seems I'm better at handling them now.

I'm actually kind of ashamed of myself. Like...how did I even think some of those things. Maybe I'm still like that but I don't realize it. Bad memories best forgotten for me, I guess.

I need something to wash these thoughts away...

 

[usernamesarehard]

Just finished reading parts 1&2. Will definitely read all parts, I'm just kind of a slow reader and can only read so much online.

I do want to say I think you're a very special person! There are very few people who care about wanting the world to be a kinder place. I'm kind of an apathetic dick. So seeing people who truely care about others and kindness is always nice.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

Just finished reading parts 1&2. Will definitely read all parts, I'm just kind of a slow reader and can only read so much online.

I do want to say I think you're a very special person! There are very few people who care about wanting the world to be a kinder place. I'm kind of an apathetic dick. So seeing people who truely care about others and kindness is always nice.

Thanks for your interest. I just want a world where we want to live in. Maybe I fantasize a little too much but I can't help it, I'm a dreamer, I want things to be kinder, even for people that don't really deserve it. Maybe it'll wash our pain away, at least a bit...

 

[Redacted24]

Your postings at the link hit home for me.
It's as if you've read my mind, from your past into my present.
Slightly different words, same underlying hurt.

I'm sorry you're here. We're here. All of us.

And for what it's worth, you have a fan in me.
I might be unwanted, irrelevant, useless, unneeded, and an embarrassment... but I'm your fan.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

Your postings at the link hit home for me.
It's as if you've read my mind, from your past into my present.
Slightly different words, same underlying hurt.

I'm sorry you're here. We're here. All of us.

And for what it's worth, you have a fan in me.
I might be unwanted, irrelevant, useless, unneeded, and an embarrassment... but I'm your fan.

Oh, my darling...your words are very appreciated. I'm happy you like my ramblings, and I hope you can find a friend in me. Mama bear might be just words on screen, but they are as genuine as they could be.

 

[telekon]

Big hugs to you Mr. Bear nice to see this side of you

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

Big hugs to you Mr. Bear nice to see this side of you

There's always a dark side.