Venting Detachment and lacking sense of control

[Astume]

Does anyone else feel unreal? Occasionally, I wake up with an intense feeling of detachment from my own emotional and physical self as if I were some outside observer. This is usually the time when I stare blankly at my hands and ask edgy questions like "Am I even alive?" etc. I've had this strange sensation since I was a child, as I grew up extremely timid and socially isolated which is probably also why I lack any significant sense of control over my life. I wonder if consciously detaching myself would help me with SI.

 

[Marine]

Yes. Same as you. Isolation and lack of belonging does that. In particular when caused by developmental trauma. We don't really exist without love and strong bonds... That's why. I'm sorry you also feel that way.

It does if that's what you want but it was still painful for me as I've always wanted to live. (I failed several times despite a serious preparation though)

I'm personally going to see yet another different therapist who has experience with developmental trauma to try and fix this... I also need to force myself to go outside and find a way to meet people IRL... Somehow. And fix my body so I can be free... I hope I succeed.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I'm a zombie ghost … only thing I feel is hunger and gnawing fear