Help Destroyed my life for a man and now I'm picking up the pieces. Looking for adivce

[miles-away]

So, I was forced to move back into my parents house after quitting my job for a man. Kind of knew it was a stupid, impulsive move that wouldn't pay off. And he broke up with me a literal week of after getting back together (and after telling me he loved me and giving me $2000 but whatever). We haven't spoken in a week and it's pretty clear to me that he lost interest and doesn't even really want me in his life as a "friend", like he use to beg.

I mean, I'm 23 and I've lived a fairly sheltered life. It's part of the reason I've been so codependent in the past on relationships. My main goal rn is to get a car, get another job and move out. I don't want to isolate myself but I live in a fairly sleepy town and know very little people here. I'm also running on little money for right now. I gave up a very good job and future for someone who barely talks to me anymore. I absolutely hate myself.

 

[SASU-KE]

I remember you wanted to go to the army or something at some point. Don't get mad at me for saying so, but I feel like you give them way too much attention. It'll eventually lead to burnout and feeling like they're being smothered. A little bit of distance is good.

I'm guessing you quit the job because of him. Did he ask you to quit the job or did you leave it because of commute issues?

 

[miles-away]

I remember you wanted to go to the army or something at some point. Don't get mad at me for saying so, but I feel like you give them way too much attention. It'll eventually lead to burnout and feeling like they're being smothered. A little bit of distance is good.

You're right lol. I've finally learned to just stop being so relationship centric but it's too late. Genuinely one of the stupidest and most pathetic things I've done.

I left because of distance issues. When I said that I'd be moving to the same state as him, we decided to get back together.

 

[SASU-KE]

You're right lol. I've finally learned to just stop being so relationship centric but it's too late. Genuinely one of the stupidest and most pathetic things I've done.

I left because of distance issues. When I said that I'd be moving to the same state as him, we decided to get back together.

Yeah, I recall your old posts. I don't want to beat a dead horse, but I was saying the same thing back then. To be honest, in this job market, quitting a good job seems like a terrible terrible idea.

People have done far worse things for love, but I've noticed your identity itself seems to center a bit much on relationships and that's unhealthy.

I hope you get back on your feet. Are your parents decent? Will living with them not 'cause you too much distress?

 

[Alumina]

you seem to be aware of your mistakes, and now you """just""" have to not repeat.
imho you got to force yourself to not be as relation-focused directly. You have to be in some way, and with time you should become more and more centered (if you move on with someone, you increase that, if you get kids, you increase that, if it's been 10 years you're with him too) but there you didn't make your decisions with your own wellbeing in mind. you prob invest all on something that's 50% out of your control so you get a high risk to lose all over it.
anyway even Notre-Dame could be rebuilt so i don't see why you couldn't get your life back in your own hands