Depression before school starts

[casctb]

I hate that I get so depressed before school starts. I feel physically sick and my self esteem is so low. My appetite is so poor, I didn't sleep well, and I can barely move to do anything. I fear that I won't do well because of memory, energy and concentration issues. But I have to do well for the sake of my future career. A part of me just wants to die now and just skip everything else but right now I can't. I'm in a really low place right now that I haven't felt since school ended in June. I just wish I could die.

 

[rhiino]

I felt the same so often before school. I also thougth I had to do well in school for my future career as that is what society tells you. I thought I will be happy one day if I just keep on getting good grades and sacrificed everything for it. I destroyed myself.
"Career" is a sham anyway, you should instead find someting that you love so much that it does not feel like it is work but your purpose. Nearly everybody ignores that and seeks a job that is manageable and makes money, but that will slowly kill you inside.

 

[casctb]

I felt the same so often before school. I also thougth I had to do well in school for my future career as that is what society tells you. I thought I will be happy one day if I just keep on getting good grades and sacrificed everything for it. I destroyed myself.
"Career" is a sham anyway, you should instead find someting that you love so much that it does not feel like it is work but your purpose. Nearly everybody ignores that and seeks a job that is manageable and makes money, but that will slowly kill you inside.

The thing is I am pursuing a job that involves something I love to do but it is difficult and not something I'm very good at so it gives me anxiety. School will be over in 2 years anyway but it's still so hard to do anything. Money is hard to come by as well, especially where I live and the current situation. I feel like these 2 years will drain me.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I have exams in 4 weeks as soon as school starts and it's killing me ngl. I totally get how you feel, it is stressful. The weight of trying to get a career is a lot, but I hope you are able to push through in the end. You can only do your best so don't punish yourself for struggling.

 

[casctb]

I have exams in 4 weeks as soon as school starts and it's killing me ngl. I totally get how you feel, it is stressful. The weight of trying to get a career is a lot, but I hope you are able to push through in the end. You can only do your best so don't punish yourself for struggling.

Thank you for your encouragement. It means a lot to me. I hope we'll both get through school successfully and find satisfaction n our careers. Best wishes