Denying reality

[noname223]

Currently I dream about that my current recovery will succeed. The chances are pretty pretty low. But it is another form of escapism. Normally suicidal thoughs are like an escape for me. However it feels better to distract myself and hope that this miracle comes true. I try to work that it comes true. It is way more likely this will horrificly backfire.
I envy my parents who fully deny reality. Everything will get good in the end. There are sometimes moments I really hope for it Then I feel better. Neverthless I think the optimism of my parents is truely insane. My dad called me some minutes ago and told me about his optimism that everything will be fine.
I am kind of mad about that. He does not acknowledge how fucked up the situation is. I sometimes think there is no point to talk with him about stuff like that. He makes me really angry. They should rather face what abuse they did and destroyed my life. I have to live with the consequences and they live in their bubble.
If I become rational about it I think I am daydreaming like almost 24/7 (except in the evening) about my situation. It kind of feels good. But I will face the realityy soon I am pretty scared it will crush me. All my hopes will be shattered. I hope I can go then again into the clinic. If this recovery does not work. I have tried everything twice.
I don't know what to do then...

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Yeah, parents are really delusional. I reminded my dad of the fact that he said extremely confidently that I'd get a gf four or five years ago lmfao. Even when caught with how naive they are they won't budge and keep saying that everything will work out. Well, I guess it will in some sense.

 

[Makko]

I don't necessarily deny reality but I have a pretty broad definition of what reality is, and the contents don't always play well with each other.

 

[nopointofliving]

There is nothing called recovery, you just find better ways to cope with life. Your parents can see different things based on their experience , and you also see different things based on your experience. everyone is right from where they are standing. I'm not trying to overlook the matter, I also feel hopeless and suicidal as you are. Once we take suicide as an option, it's hard to go back. Still you can find ways to make ur day better and to cope with feeling hopeless. Take life day by day, don't stress yourself over thinking of long term recovery. if you can manage few moments of the day, you can manage your day.

 

[FuneralCry]

I try not to have hope, personally as it can be painful when it is taken away. I am a very pessimistic person who would rather see things for what they are rather than hold on to false hopes. I understand your need for escapism though. I'm sorry you are suffering and I wish you the best.

 

[slyna]

You just realized parents are absolutely crazy? Congrats:) welcome to reality.

Not only crazy but equivalent to rapists and murderers in my eyes