Venting Delusional

[Fadeawaaaay]

I realize I've been delusional my whole life. I no longer trust my relationship with reality. Previous decisions have only ruined my life. Safest thing to do is minimize and shut myself in. This is my new normal. Only reality is getting hungry and buying food to eat. Waiting to get tired and falling asleep. Dissassociated from everything else.

 

[outrider567]

I realize I've been delusional my whole life. I no longer trust my relationship with reality. Previous decisions have only ruined my life. Safest thing to do is minimize and shut myself in. This is my new normal. Only reality is getting hungry and buying food to eat. Waiting to get tired and falling asleep. Dissassociated from everything else.

That's already been my life since January

 

[September5th]

Yeah, that's exactly how I've been feeling for months now. My problem is that I'm always believing that things can get better, that things are finally working. Unfortunately, everything just falls apart in the end. It's always like that. Always.

 

[DynamicDepression]

Yeah, that's exactly how I've been feeling for months now. My problem is that I'm always believing that things can get better, that things are finally working. Unfortunately, everything just falls apart in the end. It's always like that. Always.

That's exactly my life. I keep insisting that things will get better in the future even though all evidence points to the opposite. Being delusional is okay enough while you're in your delusional state, but once you get out of it nothing hurts more.

 

[LoveYoux]

I realize I've been delusional my whole life.

Bold claim. I get it though, I actually completely relate. Sort of developing this strange fear of doing anything for fear of the backlash, totally understand. It doesn't sound like delusions though, just misconceptions, just made some mistakes, like every single one of us do. But it's a positive that you don't want to entertain these delusions either way x
All that's happened is you've settled into the vicious cycle of 'that was bad, made me feel bad, avoid that' which is the core makeup of our biology, your body's way of keeping you safe, so don't worry about it. Just listen to your body, give yourself time, go easy on yourself x

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

I completely understand I've also fucked up my life without even realising it. I'm completely away with the fairies and I live a double life it's risky but it's just the way it is and it's only recently I realized this

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you suffer so unbearably. It sounds awful what you have to endure and living really is so painful. It is such a cruel and unfair world that we live in. I hope that you find relief from your suffering.

 

[September5th]

That's exactly my life. I keep insisting that things will get better in the future even though all evidence points to the opposite. Being delusional is okay enough while you're in your delusional state, but once you get out of it nothing hurts more.

The worst thing life can gives us is hope. Let's suppose that in a parallel universe last year sucked for me. Right now, I would probably be in a similar shit hole. However, I wouldn't know what is like to be at peace and, as such, the pain would be easier to deal with.
Life, as the OP described it, is the only rational option.