Been reading but now it's my turn to post, I suppose.
Well, I'm running out of money and running out of time. I am 42, autistic, with severe cPTSD, transitioning to female (19 months on HRT). No car, I borrow my landlords. I am jobless so incomeless for 6 weeks. I'm about to be homeless. I think I have MS, based on symptoms like fatigue and neurological stuff. I wish I had adequate health care.
I've been actively suicidal for months and had a couple of attempts at partial hanging. I write that casually like it's no big deal, how fucked up.
If nothing changes, and I don't know how to change things, I'll be on the street.
I've decided that I'll die by dehydration. I'm going to get a sleeping bag and lay down in a wooded area. And just lay there for a week or however long it takes.
Anyone know about this? I was thinking a bottle of Benadryl on hand might be helpful for things, not as a lethal dose (that sounds unreliable) but for consciousness management until the end.
I wish I had a better plan, in life and death I suppose. I wish my two kids had a better father. I wish I had family or friends who were asking about me as I've spiraled and crashed and burned for the last 3 years. I wish things were better. I wish I were better… in every way.
Well, I'm running out of money and running out of time. I am 42, autistic, with severe cPTSD, transitioning to female (19 months on HRT). No car, I borrow my landlords. I am jobless so incomeless for 6 weeks. I'm about to be homeless. I think I have MS, based on symptoms like fatigue and neurological stuff. I wish I had adequate health care.
I've been actively suicidal for months and had a couple of attempts at partial hanging. I write that casually like it's no big deal, how fucked up.
If nothing changes, and I don't know how to change things, I'll be on the street.
I've decided that I'll die by dehydration. I'm going to get a sleeping bag and lay down in a wooded area. And just lay there for a week or however long it takes.
Anyone know about this? I was thinking a bottle of Benadryl on hand might be helpful for things, not as a lethal dose (that sounds unreliable) but for consciousness management until the end.
I wish I had a better plan, in life and death I suppose. I wish my two kids had a better father. I wish I had family or friends who were asking about me as I've spiraled and crashed and burned for the last 3 years. I wish things were better. I wish I were better… in every way.
