Debt created by parents / Selfishness / "you have to be grateful" / "Children are borrowed"

[Not Being]

Debt created by parents / Selfishness / "you have to be grateful" / "Children are borrowed"

When parents find out that you want to commit suicide, one of the things they say to stop you and make you feel guilty about your decision is the following:

"After everything we've done for you!"

That phrase exhibits itself, since it implies that we have to return the "unconditional" treatment with which we were provided "disinterestedly".
They themselves, without knowing it, exhibit their own selfishness, something like saying: "We took care of you since you were little, we fed you, therefore, you will do the same with us in the future."

Making us believe that we are under the obligation to return something to them, creating a debt through said phrase / phrases of that nature; without realizing that they expose themselves; All those stocks in the fund are in your short, medium, and long-term interests.

"But I took care of you since you were a baby!" That implies that we owe them something and their dealings were NEVER DISINTERTED, UNCONDITIONAL ...there was never love. Like "I invested in you, now you have to return the favor!"

Their words lose value because I never asked to be here, why do they demand something from me that I didn't even ask for? Why do you want to create a debt for me for your "unconditional" and "disinterested" dealings?

Once my uncle told me the following: "I took care of your grandmother and you will have to do the same with your mother"

What a selfishness, creating and imposing a debt ...

I spoke with a lawyer who supports my decision to commit suicide and he confessed the following: "The children are borrowed" I did not ask him anymore, but that idea says a lot, "The children are borrowed" mmmmm suspicious ...

My parents get mad at me, THEY ACT LIKE THEY DO ME A BIG FAVOR BY BIRTHING ME AND KEEPING ME ALIVE.

As if they said to me: "I gave you life and you must be grateful for being condemned!"

Me: did I ask you? Why do you create a debt that I never asked for?

It is as if someone gives a homeless man a pizza and tells him that it is totally "free" and then the person later asks him to pay for the pizza, to return the favor, when from the beginning he said it was free , "selflessly", "unconditional" ...

I never asked for existence and they still have the nerve to force me to exist, they want me to return the "unconditional" and "disinterested" favors, they tell me "you are sick" "the disease speaks for you" "you must be grateful" "we take care of you"

It is very personal, but I think that parents are selfish, they do not care about the suffering of their children as long as it does not affect their interests, they do not care if you enjoy life or not, if you agree or not, the only thing that matters to them it is that the children remain alive so that they return the "great favor" that children "asked" for.

Great favor? You saved me from what, what did you save me from? Is bringing someone into existence, into this world, saving it? about what?

I want to clarify that I do not want to demonize anyone, there may be parents who would perfectly support their children's suicide decision (if there are any), or perhaps they were too ignorant.

But, nothing justifies that I have to be here just for someone else's interest. I am aware that not all children receive care, they may have dysfunctional, abusive families, etc.
Parents must understand that if their son does not want to exist anymore, they must respect that choice.


What do you think?

All this is my personal opinion. Sorry if there are some parts that are not understood (the page sometimes changes the words and their order)

 

[noname223]

My parents abused me. My dad still told I am not allowed to ctb I have to think about other people. Guess what: My parents are not the people who I am sad for when I am dead. Rather my friends. They are innocent.
You don't abuse a child for a decade by accident.

 

[WornOutLife]

"After everything we've done for you"

Sure, dad, mom, I love you. You've been really nice to me but guess what? I've never asked to be born.
You brought me into this world in which even innocent children die. How dare you be so selfish? Wasn't my brother enough?
If I ctb, it won't be your fault. It's just my decision. You allowed me to exist and I realized I'm just not interested in it.


(Easier said than done, of course. I just can't leave my dad alone. I love him so much!!)

 

[FuneralCry]

I did not ask to exist so I have no obligations to stay alive. I was brought into this world due to the selfish desire to procreate. As individual humans, we have the right to end our own life when we want to, I would never suffer for the sake of other people. It is selfish for them to expect me to do so.

 

[Superdeterminist]

People trying to guilt trip you is a horrible thing to have to deal with. This is more controversial, but personally I have a problem with any kind of obligation, period. Any contract, any law, anyone trying to tell me what I "must" or "should" do. There is something about it that just disgusts me. Yet, it's impossible to escape obligation if you exist in reality. Another motivation of mine to get out of this terrible world.

 

[TooConscious]

My mother was an uneducated girl who got pregnant by my insecure father who just wanted a child to be loved ad he felt low about his life.

He had to pass that pain on to somebody else, rather than truly love a child, the mistake I made was I thought we had a father son bond, we don't, he was just an insecure man who was bitter about how his life turned out and needed someone to share the baggage,

He trained me very well to accept everything he said as fact, to always empathise with him, to share his pain, blame myself and feel guilt for not making him happy. Not being eternally expressively grateful for me being fed as a kid.
The sort who say "some kids starve, you have so much to be thankful for!"
They do but 99% also live typical mundane lives and don't suffer anguish and terror trying to survive with disabilities.

Its such a sorry state of affairs,
Other parents will read this and be thinking about me "oh what a horrible ungrateful shit"
Because they are just like my father, there's so many parents with this state of mind and it causes pain all around, you're continuing the pain, but worse you had the child because it was an easy defenceless target of blame because its too difficult for a coward like you to blame the people who pull the strings of this world.

 

[Deleted member 8579]

Their words lose value because I never asked to be here, why do they demand something from me that I didn't even ask for? Why do you want to create a debt for me for your "unconditional" and "disinterested" dealings?

Here's the rub: Most people think that life is a gift; they mistakenly believe that everyone enjoys life and consequently existence is better than non existence. They sincerely believe that they are doing you a favour by dragging you into this mess.
As soon as people who renounce this "gift" come into the equation, their entire reasoning goes to hell in a handbag.

 

[ithappens]

Children don't owe their parents shit, and the idea that they do is one massive attempt by an aging portion of the population to maintain a level of control they don't deserve. Your children did not choose to be born - that was your decision. Once born children are absolutely helpless and need care of varying degrees for many, many years until they reach a level of maturity and knowledge. This is something that every adult capable of getting pregnant in this world knows. In 1st world countries (and many others but I live in the USA so I'm primarily referring to here) options like birth control and abortion exist. If you do not have the proper means to care for a child you can always choose not to have one and save yourself the trouble. Guilt tripping a child over the fact that you spent X amount of time raising or caring for them when that's an instinct most parents in the mammalian kingdom share ON TOP OF knowing in advance the responsibility and resources it would take - that's 100% on you. It was YOUR decision. If you are especially kind to and bond with your child as they grow then yes it would be *nice* if they'd help you in your times of need, but a child is not an object, a piggy bank, or an investment. They are an individual who didn't choose to be born and now has to work hard to sustain themselves, nevermind selfish parental figures who thought another living being would somehow play out like an investment in the stock market.

 

[WatermelonMel]

I just remind my parents that they made the choice to have kids, so they cannot complain. We owe nothing.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

"We put a roof over your head and fed you" they say about doing the bare minimum for their kids.

 

[FohPah]

"After everything we've done for you!"

"Bitch, I was just fine not existing. I didn't need you to do a damn thing for me. You created the need. You don't get credit for fixing problems that you created."