Death or Life isn't easy.

[Busridin'26]

I am so torn. I am so confused.

Today, I am doing interviews, meetings, etc etc.

In my head I am just planning my death. Its so unorganized tho.

It is so hard to be in-between. I try so hard not to be but I CANNOT DEAL. I do not want to live holy fuck I am tired.

I am lost and angry and hurt and sad.

I take it lightly just so i can get by but its fucking serious.

Day to day to day to day. Death while living. Who wouldn't be exhausted.

 

[Postmortam]

I am so torn. I am so confused.

Today, I am doing interviews, meetings, etc etc.

In my head I am just planning my death. Its so unorganized tho.

It is so hard to be in-between. I try so hard not to be but I CANNOT DEAL. I do not want to live holy fuck I am tired.

I am lost and angry and hurt and sad.

I take it lightly just so i can get by but its fucking serious.

Day to day to day to day. Death while living. Who wouldn't be exhausted.

I understand your pain. I tend to do the same thing, constantly planning my own way of ctb and zone out while at job, with family or friends.

 

[Meditation guide]

It's so hard to drag myself from day to day to miserable day this way, never wanting to even be here.

 

[Postmortam]

It's so hard to drag myself from day to day to miserable day this way, never wanting to even be here.

if you ever want a movie that express that feeling. watch this movie
Wakefield (2016)

The movie is so realateble in so many ways. the Need to just dispear and actually see the reactions people. And see who actually thought u matterd.

 

[suffering]

I feel you.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Feels like every single move in life requires motivation and it takes ages for me to build it up. I feel like a video game character with low stamina regeneration - lots of time spend waiting to feel good enough to attempt to do the next small task.

 

[Meditation guide]

I just wish this ctb thing was easier and didn't involve so much planning and preparation. I'm not really up to it all.

 

[Alucard]

Agony can be painfull, but death (nothingness) is painless.