Death is closer.

[watereyes]

I want to give up, definitely.
I'm alive for my dear friend @HadEnough1974, and I don't want to live him behind.
But its so hard. SN is right here in a drawer. I try to keep myself busy, I keep building stuff and drawing, but its not enough, this doesnt help me cope.

I have an appointment with a therapist tomorrow but I don't think I can keep going till then. I want to die so bad.

I hate myself. I'm so stupid. I'm an absolute idiot. Just smart enough to realize that I am. That hurts so much being aware of it. I have all the reasons to end it, and one to stay which is you my friend, but in the end I'm still suffering.

 

[Zhontafly]

Hi watereyes,

I think its cool that you use building and drawing as a catharsis, though Im sorry to hear its not workng for you so well. Anyway, I'd be interested in seeing some of your art if you dont mind and have them posted somewhere like DeviantArt for example. I do drawings as well and it reminds me that I should do more to help me cope. Life is tough and for most of us it aint so dreamy as its made out to be.

I wish you all the best with hangin' in.

Do you have friends to hang with locally to vent and purge your feelings and thoughts?

 

[HadEnough1974]

You're not an idiot you're very smart and awesome. Let's see how it goes with your therapist tomorrow.

The challenge you face is having the courage to be yourself. It's scary I know. Ctb is the final option when all other options have failed.

You know the challenge you face and you're not alone. Hugs.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

You are absolutely not an idiot or anything of that nature. Have you seen the things you've done and illustrated?

You're incredibly smart with tech things. I'm awful at it! I could never put an old system together.

Also, you're an amazing and selfless friend. You are kind and always check in on your friends or try to help. I appreciate you. x

 

[Deleted member 17949]

You're a good guy, man. You're strong to still be going at this point even if you don't feel like it. I believe you have the strength to make it through this and I really hope you can recover.

 

[Lostandfound7]

You're neither stupid, nor an idiot..
You're in pain...

I hope everything works out with the therapist tomorrow..Plz keep us posted..♡♡♡

 

[MeriDeath]

Pretty boy, I wish you knew how much people on this forum love you here. I Completly disagree with everything you wrote here and I think that even in our last moments of life we should think good of ourselves, to make death a bit more sweeter. After all I didnt see anything bad about you. You are welcome to talk to me in private, too.