Venting dealing with the guilt

[catsarecool]

I had a friend tell me today that he's glad I'm around. I think this is one of the worst times for me to hear this. I've already made my mind to CTB and I'm at peace with it, but I'd be lying if I'd say I don't feel somewhat sad. I wish I was a better, happier person who could just keep going for other people. But I'm not. And even though I know this will hurt the people I care about the most, it doesn't change my decision. I wish I could say goodbye to them properly and let them know that I'll be going, but for obvious reasons I won't be able to until after CTB. I wish I could just erase myself from people's memories as it would make things a lot easier.

 

[Nomolos92]

I'm totally at peace with my decision to CTB but the devastation and trauma I know it will cause my family weighs heavily on my mind however I can no longer exist for others.

 

[rhiino]

I feel the same. I wish I was never born so nobody would be in pain through my suicide. For me, it is the hardest part of suicide, to overcome the guilt and fear of what they will feel. If nobody cared about me I would be dead already, I am sure.