Discussion Cutting as an adult

[mantis]

Started cutting again after about a year, I'm 22 years old. Other adult cutters, how are we handling the shame? Or do you not feel any type of shame or guilt about it?

Don't have any irls to talk to abt this, I'm genuinely curious.

 

[kyuuketsuki]

i'm also 22. i do still cut from time to time as well. i don't feel as much pressure to hide scars anymore as i'm an adult and i don't have to worry about my family freaking out about it anymore. they've caught me but can't really stop me. i think it's a bit of a plus to being an older cutter.
i do still feel ashamed of them and hide them often when going outside though. i do wish i could get rid of so many scars. i just wear tights and long sleeves most of the time when leaving home, even going to physical therapy where i have to exercise a lot, because the looks people give me are something i prefer to avoid. i already stand out enough where i live, since it is an incredibly homogenous state. i don't want to experience more mistreatment/judgment for being different than everyone else if i can avoid it.

 

[wishingonstars]

Another 22 year old who still cuts here, my therapist really helped me with the shame I used to have surrounding it. In the end cutting is just another coping mechanism, it's also not a teenage thing plenty of adults do it. If you've never tried internal family systems (IFS) therapy I recommend it for dealing with shame of any kind. Whatever part of you wants to cut is just trying to protect you and help you cope because either you don't have other more healthy coping mechanisms or you do and they aren't enough.

 

[Jisatsu]

I don't feel anything about it , I just do it to balance myself.

 

[sweetcreep]

i'm in my 30s. couple months clean so far. i personally feel a lot of shame around my scars and do my best to never wear shorts or go to the beach. since no one sees them i don't have to speak about them. sometimes people glance at my arms but those are so light and faded that they blend in with the scratches my cats give me when i play with them.

 

[darksouls]

there is no need to feel guilt or shame about it, people are indifferent to me, I dont hide my scars

 

[iamanavalanche]

i started cutting recently and im around the same age. i dont feel any guilt or shame about it really since its just how i cope with my suffering.

 

[Lions303]

Honestly fine with it. Do feel a bit shameful yeah but no one cares. Gone out in a t shirt which was after 1 night where cuts healed and no one even looked or asked so not bothered about drawing attention to myself

 

[avalokitesvara]

I'm 34. I started cutting at 13/14, then stopped, started again around 23, stopped again, and started again at 33.
I don't really feel ashamed. I know people think it's stupid and childish, but they're not me. I understand why I choose to do it, and it's my body, I get to decide what to do with it. A lot of people do things to their bodies that I find stupid and immature, like tattoos and plastic surgery, but I don't judge them.

 

[westerly_merlin]

I am 57 and still cut occasionally.

I so feel some shame that at my age I am still resorting to behaviours I did in my teens, but tend to cut in areas that won't be seen as I am not a top off or short-shorts sort of guy.

 

[kazatte]

i'm 19 and i occasionally cut. i kind of like looking at my scars but i don't like other people looking at them, if that makes sense? i don't want to be judged for them. i'm a thigh cutter so i've been able to hide my scars since i began doing it last year, but when i'm wearing short shorts (like rn actually) people can see them, especially the large one on my thigh. i don't really feel ashamed, just scared that people are going to find out, in a way

 

[Forveleth]

40 here. I do it as a way to cope with my anxiety and depression. I have tried many other things to solve my problems or at least cope and none of them have worked. This is what I am left with. I do not feel any shame or guilt about it.

 

[FoxSauce]

21 here. Ive always thought about cutting but never got around it till 18. Since i still live athome i gotta hid the scars when fresh.

I moty do it on the shoulder since for me is easier to hide. Ive relapsed a bunch of times. For now ive been a month clean.

I mostly do it to regulate intense emotions.
Dealing with guilt or when i did something wromg or when im in the middle of a deep depression episode or dealing with emptiness.

Any guilt? Yes I feel shame afterwards.

 

[RE2PAWN]

I'm 22, almost 23, and while I haven't done it in a while I really don't think there's anything wrong with cutting as an adult. It's a nice form of release, a way to feel human amidst all of the chaos of life. It's always been a way for me to ground myself during tough times, and as I've stopped doing it I've found myself feeling a lot more stressed and restless.

 

[grey.skye]

I cut, and personally don't feel shame about it. It's a coping mechanism, and it's one that's really effective for me. Helps me express and regulate emotions. I hope you find a way to peace, and please know you don't deserve shame for any behaviors. And always keep wounds cleaned!

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

It's not about the shame, it's about fulfilling a spontaneous need and hiding the evidence from my family.

 

[Lady_V]

I didn't really start cutting until I was an adult. I wish I was like the rest of you who don't feel shame. I feel sm shame for it. I feel so ugly with the scars.

 

[orpheus_]

I'm 21, started cutting at 19 (I had some minor episodes as a teenager but that doesn't really count tbh). I did it every day for some time, now I haven't for around three months (my last time.. ended up with getting stitches in the hospital at 2am and now when I get the urge to do it, I'm just like, fuck no I don't want another inconvenience like that).

I'm mostly not ashamed of it in front of myself. Sometimes I get this "fuck, I'm so immature" about it but it passes and it's mostly when I'm in "finding everything bad about me" state. I ignore my scars, mostly.

When it comes to other people knowing... I feel like most will judge me and think I'm immature because of the stereotypes. I don't have that with one of my friends who knows some of the shit I've been dealing with and also used to cut. Still I usually keep my scars/wounds covered to not make anyone uncomfortable.

 

[lainduster]

19, turning 20 soon, only ever feel shameful when I do it and even then only sometimes. I've never had a big issue with scars and especially not with other people. If anybody had something to say about them or make fun or joke around I'd either do the same, ignore them or mostly not even hear them, depending on the situation. What honestly really bothered me was seeing my very loved ones be hurt over seeing them. That really messed me up, I can't even handle that thought. It made me very very sad seeing that something I had done made them sad and worried. Another thing is the only time I make an effort to hide them is when there is a child that might see them - be it in public or at a family gathering I always take extra extra special care for them to not be seen. Other than that I give zero fucks. Happy to say that I'm clean now, but worried I might not be for long. Hope you're doing well :)