needed_
waiting for a miracle
- Dec 17, 2021
- 804
I've been feeling very depressed and suicidal for weeks and now my boyfriend, who has lots of problems with himself, just randomly started a new job in NYC to run away from his problems (that he's taking with him obviously..) and left me behind in Germany. I'm not going to ctb at the moment because of my family but - to get to the point - I think IF I would.. everyone would think it would be because my boyfriend left me behind. I hate that thought because yes it hurts like hell but he doesn't have that much power over me. My reasons to ctb are far beyond that. I wonder if there would be a way to clarify that it's not because of love. Leaving a note saying "It's not because of love" sounds even more like it's because of love imo. Have you had a situation that hurt like hell and made your depression even worse but kept you from ctb because you didn't want people to think that's the main reason?
