Venting CTB by Eating Disorder

[xLosthopex]

Anyone planning to go this way?
I've suffered with Anorexia Nervosa since the age of 14, I'm now 23- have dealt with both the restrictive and binge/purge subtypes, I've nearly died many times from it, when I first developed it at 14 I was actually intending to kill myself
The closest I came to death from it was a couple of years ago, nearly died from heart failure as a result of low potassium and an extremely low weight from non stop binging and purging- I could have definitely managed to die this way, but at that point in time I wasn't actually suicidal so I did seek out help/recovery- Adult mental health services are so negligent anyway that I'd say it's easy to let yourself die before they can section you and force you in to treatment
Now, my current chosen method is SN, I have all the materials ready to go for when I need it, haven't decided on a date yet. But my eating disorder had gotten very bad again recently so I'm thinking that this could take me out before I end up ctb with SN
In the meantime I guess I'll just enjoy my fucked up addiction to weight/being skinny, food, calories etc. It's honestly the only thing in my life right now that gives me any satisfaction

 

[Theregoesthatidea]

I think people rarely wish to die from such a disorder, no. maybe if you count religious starvation nd stuff like that.
I'm really sorry you've had to deal with such a disorder, and I wish that the adult mental health services were better equipped to help you when you were reaching out. heart attacks from b/p cycles are bad, but I'd argue feeding tubes out of your control are worse.

At least on the bright side, It won't take as much sn to kill you!

I hope you find peace soon