CTB because I'm too stupid

[NegativeSymptoms]

I am a 23 y/o male diagnosed with schizophrenia but it doesn't explain why I am so braindead. I was too stupid and had to drop out of 10th grade. I never read books or watched movies, not only because I have severe anhedonia since childhood and don't find them pleasurable, but mostly because I can't follow plot. I also don't "hear" what other people say to me. My memory is also virtually non existent, I can read thread multiple times and every time it will feel like first time. Every day is a torture, I never leave my home and am scared of strangers. Doctors ignore or laugh at my complaints about cognitive impairment. I failed partial hanging 5 years ago but the next attempt will be (hopefully) lethal with SN in year 2021. I have tried bunch of pills and therapy, even psychedelics and experimental nootropics but nothing helps. And worst of all I haven't met anyone else with such problems. I feel so lonely, like an alien.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

I have very bad cognitive function and memory too.
I am extremely stupid, and can only just about function.
I have PTSD, BPD, Dyspraxia and there's a high chance I'm autistic.
I can't do anything right.

 

[CoalmineCanary]

I can't do anything right.

In fairness, a lot of us aren't able to do much right either.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

I am a 23 y/o male diagnosed with schizophrenia but it doesn't explain why I am so braindead. I was too stupid and had to drop out of 10th grade. I never read books or watched movies, not only because I have severe anhedonia since childhood and don't find them pleasurable, but mostly because I can't follow plot. I also don't "hear" what other people say to me. My memory is also virtually non existent, I can read thread multiple times and every time it will feel like first time. Every day is a torture, I never leave my home and am scared of strangers. Doctors ignore or laugh at my complaints about cognitive impairment. I failed partial hanging 5 years ago but the next attempt will be (hopefully) lethal with SN in August 2021. I have tried bunch of pills and therapy, even psychedelics and experimental nootropics but nothing helps. And worst of all I haven't met anyone else with such problems. I feel so lonely, like an alien.

This is sooo sad OP those things going on with you are too terrible for even the worst people to deserve <3I did want to say one thing though and I am not invalidating how you feel about what I will mention at all not one itty biddy bit!!!
But OP being smart is not about collecting a pool of knowledge at all it is about forming your own thoughts!