Ctb and thoughts right before the act

[lostmyself]

So my spouse ctb. My thoughts are all over the place. Does anyone who experienced having a significant other/close friend ctb wonder what their last thoughts were. It's easy to get into my own thoughts, but not those of others.

 

[tuptup]

If there was someone who could answear your question, is no longer alive.

 

[WornOutLife]

We will never know.
I used to have a classmate who ctb. He was bullied a lot. I bet he thought something like "I'll finally be at peace. "

In my case, when I tried partial and thought I was gonna die, I remember thinking: "I'm sorry dad, I'm sorry Tomi (my dog). There's no other choice".

 

[Cakes]

Yes, I lost my boyfriend back in June due to suicide. He was in a dark place, but my heart is still broken. I know he isn't experiencing pain anymore, but now I am and I can't communicate it. I'm sorry that's not helpful, but if you'd like to message, I'll help as best I can

 

[Øystein]

As others have said, this is a mystery.

I'm so sorry you lost your spouse. Of course we're all pro-choice here, but losing someone you love for whatever reason is very hard, and so is knowing that they were suffering. My thoughts are with you.

 

[Wheredidmysanitygo]

I remember back in 2016 when i tried full suspension and was about to black out i only thought "this is it, my last thought, the last scenery i'll witness, this is the end of the world". That made me panic and get out of the noose and never really tried ever since. I guess that's SI in a way.

 

[muffin222]

I don't have the answers to your questions, but I just wanted to tell you that I'm so very sorry for your loss. I hope you have some supportive people around you to help you process your grief. We're here for you

 

[lostmyself]

Yes, I lost my boyfriend back in June due to suicide. He was in a dark place, but my heart is still broken. I know he isn't experiencing pain anymore, but now I am and I can't communicate it. I'm sorry that's not helpful, but if you'd like to message, I'll help as best I can

Yes, thank you.

 

[GarageKarate07]

My thoughts right now are focusing on just letting go. I only have a few more things to line up. I'm also thinking how it should be a "better place" when I go. Can't be much worse. I'm trying not to think about remorse or regrets. What will it be in that moment? I will feel a little sad and upset at not doing better myself and not being treated better by other people. At times I simply didn't know any better and thats ok. I can forgive myself for that.