Venting Do you have a change of perspectve in CTB from back then compared to now

[tooafraidtodiez]

I know CTB is not something that can be generalized so feel free to let your thoughts out.
My personal experience: For the first couple of months i felt horrible, nausea, headache, depression and just the thought of CTB makes me want to puke. But after some incidents, those feelings are mostly gone although not completely. I no longer feel headache or depressed about CTB, instead i felt relieve that i can (hopefully) get eternal rest. I've been dealing with pain and disablity for the last 8 years of my life and i couldn't imagine going through 70 more years of that. I'll be documenting my CTB once my SN arrive, currently being sent by fedex. I don't really care about the throat burning or whatever anymore, hopefully it'll be short. Also have all protocol needed except propanolol so hopefully that'll help. I'll be documenting my CTB here on SaSu as the community has helped me tremendously to end my pain. And if i can, i'll also try to give information on how it feels to ingest SN, to give certainty to those who chose this method, although i will be takiing antacid. This is like my pseudo goodbye post before my actual goodbye post. I will also be testing my SN just to be sure it's high purity. And then the rest, is up to mother nature.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, for me ceasing to exist has always been the positive solution to find true permanent peace from this existence so dreadful and torturous that never should had been imposed that just causes all this pain and suffering with no limit as to how much agony one can feel. To suffer in this existence will just always be an abomination to me and I find it so horrible how a human can be tortured in this existence for decades longer just to face the terrible extreme agony of old age, to exist truly does mean to suffer and all I want is to be permanently unconscious, finally at peace from all suffering.