• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to kill myself
Oct 25, 2020
2,217
Hi, i do again my post in english

sorry to bother you again, but I know there are often changes or new developments in SN's plans…

This is a one-day protocol, because after two days, I might give up halfway through. I've already taken metoclopramide…

Is it okay to take metoclopramide for just one day?

I'm not allergic.

Day 0: Metoclopramide 10 mg at 8 a.m. on an empty stomach. I am NOT taking my usual morning medications (150 mg sertraline + 400 mg carbamazepine + 10 mg diazepam)… I'm not taking them!

- At noon, I finish my meal around 1:15 p.m. (last lunch with my family; I'll try not to eat too much).

Metoclopramide 10 mg at 4 p.m. after lunch. I drink very little water at noon. I neither eat nor drink between 1:15 PM and 11:15 PM… a 10-hour fast.

I also don't take any psychiatric medication in the evening.

- 11:00 PM: 1000 mg of painkiller
- 11:15 PM: Metoclopramide 3 x 10 mg
- 11:45 PM: Diazepam 3 x 10 mg, to be dissolved under the tongue. I've been taking it daily for the past two or three years, 10 mg in the morning and 10 mg in the evening… I don't want to take too much so I can properly prepare my drinks afterward.

Preparing three drinks between 11:45 PM and 12:15 AM. This takes 30 minutes… 10 minutes per drink to weigh, mix, take my time, etc.

25 g of SN (weighed) mixed with 50 ml of water (measured with a pitcher). If the water level is too low, I add 20 ml. I've prepared 3 glasses...

This SN (Symbiotic Culture Of Bacteria and Yeast) hasn't been tested, but people have died from it. I received it in November 2024, but it's still sealed.

12:30 AM: I drink the first glass. I rinse my mouth with mouthwash to remove the taste. I get into a semi-sitting, semi-reclining position to be more comfortable and avoid vomiting.
I have a bedpan next to me to vomit in.

If I vomit, I drink the second glass (at most the second glass), and if I vomit again, the third.

I will be alone at least from 12:30 AM to 10:30 AM... so a minimum of 10 hours.

No need for antacids. I read what Nitzschke said. No propranolol (I've been taking it for 3 years).

I read Stan and Vizzy's messages. Thank you so much.

Ok?

Thank you very much.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: Praestat_Mori
T

tooafraidtodiez

Member
Apr 29, 2026
28
Sounds okay but maybe just get a Lolipop. Accidentally swallowing the mouthwash might ruin the plan. For me I'll be taking 7mg of alprazolam instead. Good luck and may you find the peace you are looking for
 
  • Like
Reactions: Defenestration
B

babyneo1

Member
Apr 23, 2026
61
Sounds okay but maybe just get a Lolipop. Accidentally swallowing the mouthwash might ruin the plan. For me I'll be taking 7mg of alprazolam instead. Good luck and may you find the peace you are looking for
Why lollipop? Won't you swallow the taste?
 
Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to kill myself
Oct 25, 2020
2,217
T
Sounds okay but maybe just get a Lolipop. Accidentally swallowing the mouthwash might ruin the plan. For me I'll be taking 7mg of alprazolam instead. Good luck and may you find the peace you are looking for
Thanks I don't have alprazolam...fear that if i take lot of benzo... exhausting to do 3 glasses and errors
 

Similar threads

M
Replies
4
Views
565
Suicide Discussion
RinneOfAragon
R
purebliss
Replies
16
Views
487
Suicide Discussion
purebliss
purebliss
E
Replies
0
Views
94
Suicide Discussion
Exiled spirit
E
D
Replies
15
Views
990
Suicide Discussion
Defenestration
Defenestration