settheory
Bundle of perceptions
- Jul 29, 2021
- 457
So i tried to refuse eating meat as much as i could starting from some point to this day. Which means i was barely even a vegetarian until lately, because i consumed her shit-tasting soups with meat stock (but without meat itself). I started avoiding all animal products in my diet recently and i hope to successfully continue it. And there've been a lot of painful shit and abuse from the point i refused to eat meat to now. Not that there wasn't before that though, there was a lot of it...
I had already been refusing meat in some meals lately that time. But i wanted to become vegetarian or vegan much longer ago from that point. The abuse (direct abuse, there was indirect abuse related to that much long before that) started from me giving a small economic argument in favour of vegetarianism. Then she lashed out at me and spewed whatever shit she watched in her pseudoscientific youtube videos. She said that every vegetarian dies of kidney failure. That they all secretly eat meat. And much more of similar shit. Father disapproved me and approved her bullying but didn't participate in it that much (so far). After i refused to eat meat she repeatedly bullied me. One day she physically assaulted me and said that i should be put in a psych ward and force-fed meat. She prohibits me from cooking. I want to cook things myself but mother would scream at me and said "you can't" and some humiliating shit whenever i tried to. And sometimes father would do that.
Father's been participating in it much less so far, but he approved of everything she did to me.
Some of the meat tasted good. Some bad. I don't miss the taste. Dealing with my mother was and is the hardest part by far. I think i could have had a more proper and nutritionally balanced vegan diet if i was living with someone less abusive or by myself, the freedom and lack of constraints imposed by them would allow me to do that. But i don't think escape is possible any time soon, except escape from this world...
I had already been refusing meat in some meals lately that time. But i wanted to become vegetarian or vegan much longer ago from that point. The abuse (direct abuse, there was indirect abuse related to that much long before that) started from me giving a small economic argument in favour of vegetarianism. Then she lashed out at me and spewed whatever shit she watched in her pseudoscientific youtube videos. She said that every vegetarian dies of kidney failure. That they all secretly eat meat. And much more of similar shit. Father disapproved me and approved her bullying but didn't participate in it that much (so far). After i refused to eat meat she repeatedly bullied me. One day she physically assaulted me and said that i should be put in a psych ward and force-fed meat. She prohibits me from cooking. I want to cook things myself but mother would scream at me and said "you can't" and some humiliating shit whenever i tried to. And sometimes father would do that.
Father's been participating in it much less so far, but he approved of everything she did to me.
Some of the meat tasted good. Some bad. I don't miss the taste. Dealing with my mother was and is the hardest part by far. I think i could have had a more proper and nutritionally balanced vegan diet if i was living with someone less abusive or by myself, the freedom and lack of constraints imposed by them would allow me to do that. But i don't think escape is possible any time soon, except escape from this world...
