Venting Constant Cycle of Pain

[iamsuffering02]

This is my first thread so excuse me if i'm not the best at this. Throughout my life and especially the past year i've gone through a constant cycle of extreme highs to lows mentally. It's become very tiring to the point where I take my frustration out onto SH I just relapsed yesterday. I'm about to go to college this summer and I think i'm ready to die before. I often compare my life to others and the success I see other people achieve while I suffer only makes my suffering worse. This year Ive had weeks where I'm completely drained, then one good thing happens to me and it feels like i'm on top of the world, then a bad thing and i'm back to SH. Hopefully any of yall can relate

 

[sadbh]

Do you have bipolar?

 

[cluefixphantom]

I never had any ordinary achievements, I was always just victim of hate crimes at the end of the day, because the middle-class and elite people are rich and all believe they are above you if you are born from poor parents, and if you have disabilities, uglylooking and so on. None of them feel compassion. They generate their worth from exploiting others who are poorer, weaker. Life is like 'who is the best bully-competition'.
If you struggel so much it's part of this competition. The human societies are all competetive, and ordinary people act similar to cancer cells. They are all ableist, classist and misogyn per default because their main ideology is pronatalism and getting more powerful richer. I wish they would die out soon and that I don't need to be a part of this filth anymore.