Considering going tomorrow...

[ladolcemorte]

I am currently staying at my parents' house. Tomorrow they are going for lunch and there is a flight to the city that hosts my suicide bridge at 2pm. (I went to the bridge last year and made it over the railing but then a "good samaritan" physically intercepted me).

I'm thinking I should be able to board the flight before my parents notice I am missing, but since they are aware of the previous attempt and of my state of mind (I was recently in the hospital for 2 months), they might figure out where I've gone and send police to the bridge or to the airport in the bridge city.

I'm not in very good shape physically (I have a cane due to numbness in my legs that the Drs think is MS) so I don't imagine it would be very hard for the police to catch me, and given my history I would have a hard time explaining my presence on the bridge. Also, if I fly out there and fail, I will be out about $1000, and I will have a heck of a time coming up with the money to go again....

On the other hand, I really feel like I need to get out of here NOW, so maybe it is worth the risk....

 

[rt1989526]

I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do. Is there nowhere closer that would be suitable so you don't need to catch a flight? What will happen if you get "caught"?

Know you are supported here.

 

[ladolcemorte]

I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do. Is there nowhere closer that would be suitable so you don't need to catch a flight? What will happen if you get "caught"?

Know you are supported here.

Thanks for your support.

In terms of what happens if I get "caught", if it is anything like last time the police would take me to the hospital in the bridge city (nameless to protect privacy), and then that city would send me to a hospital in my city of residence. So I would be displaced such that I would have to pay for another flight (and avoid detection from my parents) in order to try again.

As for something closer, I would have to choose another method as none of the bridges here are tall enough. I was considering amitryptaline but I don't quite have enough yet, and I would be substituting clonazepam for diazepam. Also it can take up to 24 hours so I worry about my parents finding me. I have looked at SN but it is near impossible to acquire in my country.

 

[Moonbounce]

I feel your desperation, my friend. Whatever choice you make, I know you will do what you believe is right.

 

[rt1989526]

Gotcha, best of luck to you. I know that feeling where you need to get the f out. Hope you find the peace we all desire here

 

[cyberlordsumit]

you still with us? I'd suggest to go for other alternatives...