Necrosis
En bokstavelig bjørn som later som om han er menne
- Feb 23, 2023
- 71
A few days ago I had attempted to CTB in my closet by partial hanging. In the middle of my attempt, my roommate knocked on my door and I was caught red handed. Lots of drama but basically I just got an obvious lack of care other than scolding/disappointment/bunk checks which are humiliating. This is after I expressed how much of it was from nobody helping me take care of the household and comments wearing down on me too....Word hasnt spread to my family much because nobody cares all that much I assume? No change in behavior from supposed loved ones. I don't necessarily WANT pity or to have others walk on eggshells or baby me but.... when I compare myself to a recent event from someone who is a known neglectful parent and user...
I found out this morning from my sister that my uncle tried as well. They found a noose in the backyard and a ladder, but couldn't find him. I guess he didnt want anyone to see him? He legally can't drive and after sending some "i love you im so sorry" texts police immediately started searching for him. He was found on a bridge while overdosing. Stomach pumped and hospitalized. Everyone went to see him even my dad who had work and stayed overnight with my other uncle to be nearby. Lots of talk and worry and talk of supporting him through rehab and psych wards etc. .
That's pretty much it. I don't normally ever compare my life to others. Or want anything out of my own poor feelings. It's less jealousy and more so just a validation that I should try again. My uncle shouldn't, he's loved and obviously worth showing up for and supporting even if he's made as many mistakes as he has in life. But he's still a good brother/uncle/grandfather. I cant say the same for myself. Im not bad, but I guess I'm not good either.
I found out this morning from my sister that my uncle tried as well. They found a noose in the backyard and a ladder, but couldn't find him. I guess he didnt want anyone to see him? He legally can't drive and after sending some "i love you im so sorry" texts police immediately started searching for him. He was found on a bridge while overdosing. Stomach pumped and hospitalized. Everyone went to see him even my dad who had work and stayed overnight with my other uncle to be nearby. Lots of talk and worry and talk of supporting him through rehab and psych wards etc. .
That's pretty much it. I don't normally ever compare my life to others. Or want anything out of my own poor feelings. It's less jealousy and more so just a validation that I should try again. My uncle shouldn't, he's loved and obviously worth showing up for and supporting even if he's made as many mistakes as he has in life. But he's still a good brother/uncle/grandfather. I cant say the same for myself. Im not bad, but I guess I'm not good either.
